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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24247132">Broken Feathers || Marauders Era</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarryPaws18/pseuds/StarryPaws18'>StarryPaws18</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Animagus, Bisexual Female Character, Blood Curses | Blood Malediction (Harry Potter), F/F, F/M, Female Marauders (Harry Potter), Hogwarts, Magic, Maledictus, Marauders, Marauders Era (Harry Potter)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 20:55:22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>21,173</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24247132</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarryPaws18/pseuds/StarryPaws18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>For Freya Sallow, it seemed like she had the worst luck in the world. She was born into a high achieving pureblood family, with sky-high expectations of her from the moment she opened her eyes. Her mother died when she was young, leaving her to be raised by her neat-freak professor father.</p><p>Freya's always been the one to be overlooked - to be forgotten. When she starts Hogwarts, that changes. For the first time in her life, she has real friends. Sure, half her classmates hate her because they think the professors are playing favourites, but it could be worse. </p><p>And then, in classic Freya fashion, it gets worse. </p><p>In addition to navigating Hogwarts and the Wizarding World while a dark wizard is steadily gaining power, she has to deal with her impending fate. For generations, a curse has been passed from mother to daughter that will eventually leave them trapped in the body of a falcon. There's no cure, not yet at least. But despite the help of some of the most talented living wizards, time is not on her side. </p><p>Updates every Saturday.  <br/>Rated Teen and Up for Mild Language Use.<br/>Also posted on Wattpad.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter &amp; Original Female Character(s), Lily Evans Potter/Severus Snape, Marlene McKinnon/Original Female Character(s), Original Female Character &amp; Original Female Character, Severus Snape &amp; Original Female Character(s), Sirius Black &amp; Original Female Character(s), Sirius Black &amp; Remus Lupin &amp; Peter Pettigrew &amp; James Potter</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. {1} The Dinner Party</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Freya has an existensial crisis.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I had never liked people. </p><p>They had always been terrifying, towering over me and asking all those questions with too-sharp eyes and condescending tones. </p><p>I had also never understood what made my sister love them so much.</p><p>Then again, everyone loved her, so maybe that wasn't much of a surprise. She was exactly what was expected from our family, charming, pretty, and, most importantly, smart. Extremely smart, if somewhat predictable. </p><p>She had already decided that she would follow in our father's footsteps and become a professor at Hogwarts like our family had done for centuries. She wouldn't stray from tradition.</p><p>My father would probably expect me to follow in his footsteps as well if his not-so-subtle jibes were anything to go by. I had done my best to ignore them all my life, but as my eleventh birthday and, by extension, my first year at Hogwarts, drew closer and closer, I couldn't <em>not </em>think about it.</p><p>In fact, that was probably where most of my conscious thought had been directed for the past month. Maybe not so much what my father wanted, but what I wanted, which was a rather foreign concept to me, but a necessary one, I had decided. </p><p>I had gone with the flow for my entire life so far, and it simply wouldn't do for the rest of it. First, however, I had to differentiate what I wanted from what other people wanted. </p><p>Well, no, first I had to figure out <em>how </em>to do that. </p><p>"Freya!"</p><p>My head shot up, my quill dropping from my fingers to the worn wood of my hand-me-down desk.</p><p>"Freya!" My sister called again.</p><p>Now I could hear her coming up the stairs.</p><p>I hurriedly placed the quill back in ink pottle, rolled up the piece of parchment I had been using, and stood, managing to straighten my dark blue dress before my sister burst into my room.</p><p>She smiled kindly at me when she saw that I was ready. She was dressed in a lilac version of my own dress. She looked nice, but then again, she always did.</p><p>Victoria was the kind of person that was always put together, no matter the situation. She was very different to me, in that way, and so many others.</p><p>Where I got flustered easily and preferred to hide behind our father, she charmed her way into everyone's good books. Where I had dark brown waves, she had black locks. The physical dissimilarities didn't stop there, the most notable of which being our eyes. Mine were an odd golden-amber, hers were a stunning blue.</p><p>No one would think that we were siblings. Our father always said that we looked like our mothers, which was true for me, at least. But Victoria shared his black hair, if not his dark eyes.</p><p>I was the odd one out- I just prayed that that didn't continue with my house placement at Hogwarts. If I wasn't placed in Ravenclaw, they might as well disown me.</p><p>I swallowed nervously, forcing my fear down.</p><p>"Come on." Victoria beckoned, offering me her hand.</p><p>I took it gratefully, my small hand fitting right into her bigger one. She was four years older than me, entering her fifth year at Hogwarts in a few days, where I would be starting my first.</p><p>I forced my fear down again, and urged my feet to move, stumbling after Victoria.</p><p>Walking became easier after the first few steps, and I managed to find my footing by the time we reached the winding staircase.</p><p>Victoria led me through the winding corridors to the dining room. It was currently empty, but a small feast was laid out on the table. My sister placed her hand on my shoulder in a silent command to stay still.</p><p>I obeyed without question, wringing my hands together in front of me.</p><p>We were only there for a minute or so before loud and familiar voices rang through the house, their owners appearing a moment later.</p><p>My father was one of them. William Sallow, the latest in a long line, was the Professor of Arithmancy at Hogwarts. Beside him was Albus Dumbledore, the Headmaster of Hogwarts.</p><p>They both smiled kindly at my sister and me, my father also greeting us with a satisfied nod. It seemed we were both tidy enough for his liking. He was quite the perfectionist. Everything in our house had its place, and it had to go back there.</p><p>You could see it in how he was dressed too. A neat, dark suit, in order to fit in with the Muggles in London.</p><p>Professor Dumbledore, on the other hand, could only be mistaken for either a wizard or a kook. He was in flowing wizard robes, with half-moon spectacles perched precariously on the end of his nose.</p><p>"Victoria." He smiled, grasping her outstretched hand and shaking it.</p><p>"Professor." She smiled, bobbing her head.</p><p>"Freya," he said, turning to me.</p><p>My eyes widened momentarily, and I hurriedly held out my hand for him to shake. His hand was warm and kind of wrinkly, but his grip was firm. Not to the point where it hurt, however.</p><p>I was still relieved when he let go.</p><p>"I shall not keep us from food any longer," Dumbledore said, "It looks as though we have a wonderful spread for us tonight."</p><p>"Indeed," my father agreed, taking a seat at the head of the table. </p><p>Dumbledore sat down on his left-hand side, my sister on his right, and me next to her. </p><p>"Are you excited to be starting school this year?" he asked me kindly after a momentary lapse in conversation as we all filled out plates. </p><p>"Um... yes," I replied quietly, faltering slightly. </p><p>"It will be nice to have our family together for the whole year," my father added. </p><p>I had spent the past ten years being mostly raised by a revolving door of nannies, as my father stayed at Hogwarts year-round. As a result, there had always been a distance between him and my sister and me, although they had gotten a lot closer since she had started at Hogwarts. </p><p><em>I'm not jealous of her</em>, I reminded myself. </p><p>She might be the apple of our father's eye, and able to upstage me in every way, but <em>I wasn't jealous of her</em>. </p><p>After all, I couldn't lose the moral high ground, could I? </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. {2} Hogwarts Express</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Freya gets a cat and makes some friends.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I barely slept the night of August 31st. As a result, when I woke at the crack of dawn the morning of the 1st, I felt as exhausted as I had the night before.</p><p>I stumbled through breakfast, only just avoiding both falling asleep right there at the table and throwing up.</p><p>Victoria, of course, was bright and perky. As was my father. I let them think I was, but the moment I returned to my room to fetch my trunk, my smile fell. I didn't let the tears that threatened from my eyes spill, but they were there.</p><p>There was a knot in my stomach. I didn't want to leave. I didn't want to go to Hogwarts. I just wanted to stay here, safe and sound, in my room. In my house.</p><p>But I couldn't. It wasn't just because I would never voice my fears to my father, but also because he would never let me stay.</p><p>So, instead, I wrapped my hands around the handles of my trunk and began to maneuver it downstairs. I would have liked Father's help with it, but he said it was good practice. Who was I to disagree?</p><p>I wish I had, as it was a mission to get it downstairs, but I made it, albeit with a few scrapes from the times I had dropped it.</p><p>My father and Victoria were waiting patiently in the kitchen. Aquila, my father's falcon, who was named after my mother, was perched on the windowsill watching them with sharp amber eyes. They looked up when I tried to lower my trunk to the ground and accidentally dropped it. I winced and looked up with wide eyes.</p><p>Luckily, my father simply smiled and waved me over. I breathed a small sigh of relief, joining them at the bench.</p><p>"So, Freya, do you remember when we went to Diagon Alley?" Father began.</p><p>I nodded. We had gone a week prior, once I had gotten my Hogwarts letter.</p><p>"We left out one item from the list."</p><p>My eyes widened and my heart skipped a beat. Instinctively, my mind began to spiral. What had we forgotten? I had gotten all my supplies, or so I had thought, including my robes, books and a cauldron, and - most importantly - my wand. Eleven inches, made of elmwood with a core of dragon heartstring.</p><p>My family seemed oblivious to my panic, as my father nodded at Victoria. She smiled at me as she bent down and lifted a wicker carrier up onto the bench. She unlatched the top, revealing a white blanket lining the bottom, and, on top of that, a small silvery tabby kitten.</p><p>I smiled, my panic dying back.</p><p>"She's yours." My father explained happily, offering me a small leather collar and metal tag, "The collar's spelled to grow with her and not to get lost, and you can magically engrave the tag once you choose a name."</p><p>"Thank you." I murmured, reaching out my hand to the kitten.</p><p>She sniffed it slowly, and then a little pink tongue flicked out, tickling my fingers.</p><p>"As cute as this is to watch, we should probably get going." Victoria pointed out.</p><p>"Right, yes." My father realised.</p><p>He pulled his own wand from his jacket pocket and waved it at our trunks. They began to hover, following my father as he left. Victoria followed, her owl perched in the cage she was carrying. I whispered an apology to my new kitten as I closed the basket.</p><p>It seemed unfair, but I didn't have time to do it another way. I clasped it in my small hands and left as well, trailing after my father and sister.</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <strong>- X -</strong>
  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>Unlike the other parents, my father boarded the Hogwarts Express with my sister and I. He didn't stay with us though, and instead headed up the train to the teacher's carriage. My sister left too, to go find her friends. Luckily, I managed to find an empty carriage, but, as I settled in the seat against the window, I couldn't help but feel slightly abandoned.</p><p>Sure, I had my yet-to-be-named kitten in a basket on my lap, but I had two family members on this train who knew what was going on, and neither was available to help me.</p><p>A light knock on the door drew me from my thoughts. I looked up, finding a girl who looked about the same age as me. She was very pretty and quite delicate, with curly blonde hair, light eyes and a wide smile.</p><p>"Hi, can I sit here?" She asked, nodding at the carriage.</p><p>I nodded numbly, but I didn't return to staring out the window as she sat down beside me.</p><p>"I'm Elyza. Pleased to meet you." She smiled, holding out her hand.</p><p>I took it, trying not to show how nervous I was, and shook it, dropping it quickly.</p><p>"I'm Freya."</p><p>"That's a pretty name."</p><p>"Thanks." I murmured.</p><p>"Who's your friend?" Elyza asked, pointing at the basket.</p><p>"My new kitten."</p><p>"What's his - her -?"</p><p>"Her."</p><p>"Her name?"</p><p>"She doesn't have one yet. She was a gift from my father this morning."</p><p>"Aww. Your dad sounds great."</p><p>I shrugged, but there was a ghost on my face. Despite all his flaws, he was a pretty great father.</p><p>"We should give her a name." Elyza suggested, "What does she look like?"</p><p>Instead of responding, I lifted the lid of the basket, revealing the small silver tabby stretched out on the blanket. As we watched, she opened one blue eye and meowed softly, flexing a tiny paw.</p><p>"Aww." Elyza cooed, tickling the kitten's fur gently.</p><p>Another knock on the carriage door made us lookup. Two more people, a boy with longish black hair and a red-headed girl were peering in.</p><p>"Can we sit here?" The girl asked politely.</p><p>Elyza looked to me to answer. I shrugged, nodding. I didn't like being put on the spot. The two seemed to take it as the 'yes' it was supposed to be, however and slipped in.</p><p>"Cute kitten." The girl commented, sitting down opposite us.</p><p>"Thanks," I muttered, placing one hand on the kitten to ensure she didn't spook and runoff.</p><p>"What's her name?" The red-head inquired.</p><p>"Doesn't have one yet," Elyza answered for me, something I was grateful for.</p><p>"Planning on giving her one?"</p><p>"That's what we were just discussing."</p><p>The girl nodded, smiling, and then seemed to realise something.</p><p>"Oh, sorry, I should introduce myself. I'm Lily- Lily Evans."</p><p>She looked to the boy beside her, but when he didn't say anything, she added:</p><p>"This is Severus Snape."</p><p>"Pleased to meet you. I'm Elyza Aldridge." She beamed.</p><p>Then all eyes were on me. I swallowed down my fear, resisting the urge to call up into a ball and hide.</p><p>"Freya. Freya Sallow."</p><p>At the mention of my last name, Severus perked up, his dark eyes now watching me keenly. I shied away from his piercing gaze. Luckily, it didn't seem to have an effect on either of the girls.</p><p>"Okay, so, name ideas. Go." Elyza clapped her hands together excitedly.</p><p>"Ooh, what about Smoke?" Lily suggested.</p><p>"Or Ebony?</p><p>"Inky?"</p><p>"Athena?"</p><p>I smiled, despite my misgivings, as I watched them trade name ideas back and forth.</p><p>Perhaps Hogwarts wouldn't be so bad after all.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. {3} Choices</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The hat's cryptic as hell and Tori gives horrible pep talks.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Our arrival at Hogsmeade was marked by a flurry of activity. We left our luggage on the train - along with my kitten, now named Pepper - and joined the rest of the first years. I kept an eye out for my father and sister, but there were too many people around for me to be sure if I had seen them. </p><p>The groundskeeper ushered us out of the station and down a well-trodden path to the Black Lake. A small cluster of boats awaited us, bobbing steadily on the calm water. </p><p>"Four to a boat!" The groundskeeper called out, climbing into one himself. </p><p>I followed Elyza, Lily, and Severus into one, tucking my legs close to my chest as I tried not to look at the dark water. I didn't miss the sympathetic look Elyza sent me. </p><p>The boat next to us was boarded by four boys. Two of them were talking loudly, their voices carrying over to us. Severus shot them a withering look, and Lily didn't seem too pleased either. I didn't question it. </p><p>A few moments later, the boats began to move of their own accord, garnering a small gasp of surprise from me. I clung to the boat like my life depended on it. I didn't want to go over. Aside from the obvious dangers, I don't think I could cope with the looks people would send me, or the disappointment my family would feel.</p><p>"What house do you think you'll be in?" Elyza asked, breaking the silence that was otherwise only broken by the sound of the boats moving against the water.</p><p>"Slytherin," Severus answered immediately. </p><p>"Okay. What about you guys? Lily?"</p><p>"I don't know." The red-head replied thoughtfully. </p><p>"Freya?"</p><p>"My entire family's in Ravenclaw," I admitted.</p><p>"Wow. That's a lot to live up to." Lily said. </p><p>She didn't have to tell me that. </p><p>"Do you hope you'll be in Ravenclaw too?" Elyza inquired. </p><p>I nodded.</p><p>"What about you?" Lily asked the blonde. </p><p>"I don't mind." </p><p>"Do you really not care about how you're going to spend the next seven years?" Severus said disapprovingly.</p><p>"It's not that I don't care. It's that I don't mind. Every house has their good sides and their bad sides. I would love to be in any of them." </p><p>I could tell that Severus didn't agree, but he just looked away instead of continuing to argue. Both he and I stayed mostly silent the entirety of the boat ride, only speaking when directly spoken to. </p><p>Lily and Elyza talked enough for all of us anyway. </p><p>The boat ride was followed by a rather long walk to the castle itself. Most students let out gasps of wonder or something of the sort. I had seen Hogwarts several times before, when visiting my father, so most of the novelty had worn off. </p><p>We were handed off from Hagrid, the bushy-bearded groundskeeper, to Professor McGonagall, the Deputy Headmistress. She explained the system of houses to the Muggleborns that didn't know. I was lucky that I already knew about the houses because everything she said flew out of my head almost immediately. </p><p>My nerves only spiked once the doors to the Great Hall swung open, revealing a familiar room full of people and floating candles. I slipped into the middle of the cluster of first-years making their way to the front of the hall. I kept my eyes fixed on the ground, only looking up to make sure I didn't crash into anybody.</p><p>The sorting began shortly. To my dismay, Elyza, who was partially shielding me from view, was the first up, with her last name being Aldridge and all. My breath was caught in my throat as I watched anxiously. </p><p>After a few minutes, which was relatively long for a sorting, the hat opened its mouth and called out:</p><p>"Hufflepuff!" </p><p>The Hufflepuff table erupted into cheers and Elyza was grinning as she descended the steps to join her house. I couldn't help but feel a little disappointed. If I got what I wanted, then I wouldn't be in the same house as her. I almost definitely wouldn't be in the same house as Severus, and I didn't think Lily would be in Ravenclaw, as sharp as she seemed, which meant I would be alone - aside from my sister, but she wasn't in my year. </p><p>My fears were confirmed when Lily's name was called out. Her sorting was much shorter than Elyza's, and she was put into Gryffindor. It seemed fitting, from what I knew about her from our limited interactions.</p><p>I watched in a state of rising terror as my turn got closer and closer. I balled my hands into fists and released them in an effort to reign in my spiralling mind, but to no avail. </p><p>"Sallow, Freya." Professor McGonagall.</p><p>As I almost stumbled forward, forcing my legs to work, I could hear the slight whispers in the hall. They knew that last name, if not for its place on the Sacred Twenty-Eight, but because of my father and sister. </p><p>I reached the stool and turned, sitting down. Luckily, I only focused on the hall full of people staring at me for a moment before the hat was placed on my head, and my attention was drawn elsewhere.</p><p>Although I was prepared for what came next, it was still unsettling to hear someone else's voice in my head. </p><p>
  <em>You're a curious little thing, aren't you? So quiet, but with so much potential. Not a fit for Gryffindor, I think. Hufflepuff, perhaps? No, too much of an edge. So many buried traits, unbridled ambition, creativity, intelligence, wit, cunning. Ravenclaw, or Slytherin, I should think. A great deal more driven than your sister, even more than your father. </em>
</p><p>I want to follow in their footsteps, I thought hopefully.</p><p>
  <em>Yes, yes, I can see that. You want so desperately not to disappoint them- not to disappoint anybody. It will be your downfall, young Sallow, I can promise you that.</em>
</p><p>I don't care. </p><p>
  <em>You don't care? Well, that would be a first for you. But, it seems that the decision has fallen to you. You're split between the two. </em>
</p><p>How? I don't fit the Slytherin house traits.</p><p>
  <em>Oh, but you do, little Sallow, as you will see. However, it's up to you now. What is your choice?</em>
</p><p>Ravenclaw.</p><p>
  <em>Are you certain?</em>
</p><p>Was I? Yes, I was. I had to be. </p><p>
  <em>That doesn't seem like certainty to me.</em>
</p><p>I'm sure. A hundred percent sure. </p><p>
  <em>Very well then. If it's what you wish, then let it be-</em>
</p><p>"Ravenclaw!" </p><p>The table erupted into cheers. I could see my sister among them, beaming at me. I managed a smile back at her, and once I had descended the steps, I risked a glance back at my father. He was smiling too, and nodded approvingly at me. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <span class="u">- X - </span>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>The rest of the feast passed in a blur. I managed to catch the eye of Elyza, who smiled at me before I was swept out of the hall alongside the other Ravenclaw first years. I was a little disappointed that the only new people I had met had all been sorted into different houses. It was an equal split. One Ravenclaw, one Hufflepuff, one Gryffindor, and one Slytherin.</p><p>Although I couldn't help but feel like a fraud. Like I could never be a true Ravenclaw. I brushed those thoughts from my mind as my sister appeared next to me, a wide smile on her face. </p><p>"I knew you'd be a Ravenclaw!" she exclaimed. </p><p>"I don't think that's because of any special gift on your part, Victoria, it's no secret that your family has been in Ravenclaw for generations." An unfamiliar older Ravenclaw pointed out. </p><p>"Oh, quiet, Lewis." Victoria chastised, focusing her attention on me, "I can't wait to show you everything!"  </p><p>"You shouldn't be giving her special attention." The boy - Lewis - chided. </p><p>Victoria rolled her eyes but slipped to the front of the group to guide us to the common room. It was her duty as Prefect, after all. Lewis shot me a crooked smile that might have been meant to be reassuring before following her. </p><p>I kept to myself, ignoring the looks from the other first-years. I only caught a little bit of what they were saying, but it was enough to know what they thought: that I would get off easy because of my father being a professor here, because of my sister being a Prefect, or that I had somehow cheated my way in. </p><p>I was prepared for that, Victoria had warned me about as much when she had first started at Hogwarts. Although, then, she had only had to deal with the shadow of our father, not an overachieving older sister as well. </p><p>I had already resigned myself to the fact that I probably wouldn't make any friends within my house. It was a sad truth, but it was reality, and it would be silly to think anything else. </p><p>I trailed behind everyone else, trying my hardest not to listen to what they were saying. Short of clamping my hands over my ears, however, there was only so much I could do, so I was glad when we finally arrived at the door to the Ravenclaw common room. </p><p>My sister knocked on the door, and a disembodied voice came from it. </p><p>"What am I?" It asked</p><p>"A question," she replied, after only a moment's pause. </p><p>It swung open, revealing a very blue room. A fire was crackling merrily, and a giant marble statue dominated the room. I knew that it was Rowena Ravenclaw, one of the Hogwarts founders. I tried - and failed miserably - not to feel too intimidated. </p><p>I was barely listening as Victoria and Lewis directed us to our dorm rooms. Instead, I trusted that my fellow Ravenclaws knew where to go, and began to follow them upstairs. However, my plan was foiled when my sister grabbed my arm, pulling me back. </p><p>"Be careful, okay," she told me, worry flitting across her face.</p><p>"I'll be fine," I replied, projecting confidence I didn't feel.</p><p>"I know firsthand how ruthless Ravenclaws can be. It's a very competitive environment, and you'll be the one they're competing against."</p><p><em>Thanks for the advice, </em>I thought almost bitterly. </p><p>I couldn't bring myself to answer, so I just nodded. Victoria seemed to understand and pulled me into a hug. </p><p>"You'll do great things, Freya, never doubt that."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. {4} The Slug Club</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>She jinxed it.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>My first day at Hogwarts was a whirlwind. My very first class was Defense Against the Dark Arts with the Hufflepuffs, taught by Professor Ludwick, a new addition to the staff. </p><p>It was followed by History of Magic with Professor Binns, who was a ghost who droned on and on. We had that class with the Slytherins. </p><p>After lunch, we had Charms and Transfiguration, both with the Gryffindors, and taught by Professors Flitwick and McGonagall respectively. </p><p>Our last class of the day was Astronomy, with the Slytherins again, taught by Professor Pallas. </p><p>Thankfully, none of the teachers gave me any special treatment, although we did get homework from every one of them. It was simple, mostly small paragraphs or research assignments, with the odd practical addition. </p><p>I spent my night slaving through it all, not willing to let it pile up and catch up to me. I wasn't the only one with those intentions, by no means, as the common room was full of students hurriedly finishing assignments.  </p><p>Some worked in small groups, but most - like me - worked alone. A few of the older students seemed to be racing each other to see who could finish their work the quickest. </p><p>Victoria was one of them. </p><p>In fact, she was already finished and was now chatting animatedly with one of her friends. I looked at them wistfully for a few moments, wishing that any of my possible new friends were in the same house as me. </p><p>But, they weren't, and there wasn't much I could do about it. I returned to my work, scribbling down the last few sentences of my Charms assignment, and then slipped my homework, quill, and ink pottle back into my bag. </p><p>I shouldered it and began to make my way through the mess of people. </p><p>"Hey, Frey'," Victoria said as I passed her. </p><p>"Yeah?" I asked quietly, pausing and turning to face her.</p><p>"We're going to see who can transfigure our quills better. Want you join?" She offered. </p><p>"No, thank you." I refused, flashing her a small apologetic smile before turning away.</p><p>I made it all the way to my dorm without any other interruptions. I dropped my bag next to my trunk. Pepper was curled up on my bed and opened one eye when I came in. She yawned widely and stretched out, flexing her tiny paws. </p><p>I laughed, leaning over to pat her head. </p><p>"I'm not going to be able to get into bed, am I?" I asked her. </p><p>She purred in response, which I took as a firm 'no'. I gave her one last pat before I stood up to get ready for bed. </p><p>Thankfully, by the time any of my classmates reached the dorm, I had already showered and changed, and was curled up under my covers - having nudged a very disgruntled Pepper to the side so I could get in - reading a book called 'Fact or Fiction: The Truth Behind Muggle's Beliefs'. My father had got it for me so I would 'better understand muggles', in his words, 'while at the same time learning about my own history'. </p><p>At least it wasn't another arithmancy book, because I swear, if I got another one of those, I would... well, I don't know what I would do, but I didn't want anymore. </p><p>"Cute cat." </p><p>I looked up to see one of my classmates, Quinn, sitting on the edge of her bed watching me. I shifted slightly, causing Pepper to let out a meow of protest. </p><p>"Yeah, she's pretty cute," I said quietly. </p><p>"What's her name?" Quinn asked. </p><p>"Pepper." </p><p>"Cute name for a cute cat." </p><p>I nodded, my eyes flicking back down to my book, leaving us sitting in a rather awkward silence. </p><p>"You aren't like I thought you'd be." Quinn burst out. </p><p>I looked up at her in confusion.</p><p>"I have two older siblings. They've told me about Victoria." Quinn elaborated, "She's... well, popular, and outgoing and you're... not."</p><p>"She's always been like that," I said. </p><p>"You two don't look like sisters either."</p><p>I almost flinched. I had heard that plenty of times and most of them didn't mean it as innocently as Quinn did. </p><p>"We're only half-sisters," I explained.</p><p>"Oh. I thought Professor Sallow's wife was dead though. Is your mother still alive?"</p><p>"No. Victoria's mother died in childbirth, and mine died when I was little." </p><p>"Jeez. I guess your dad doesn't have much luck."</p><p>"His parents are dead too," I added. </p><p>"Wow. He's <em>really </em>unlucky." Quinn sympathised, before adding: "But you're really lucky."</p><p>"Did you miss the part about the dead mother?" I said dryly, surprising myself. </p><p>"I just mean, your sister's a prefect, and your father's a professor. You're like... royalty."</p><p>"You mean I'll get special treatment?" I asked, disappointed that the first person in my house - aside from my sister - that I actually talked to thought I was coasting along and not going to put in any of the work. </p><p>"I mean, yeah." Quinn shrugged.</p><p>"My father doesn't work like that. He won't give me any special treatment, just like he hasn't given Victoria any."</p><p>"She's prefect." Quinn pointed out.</p><p>"So's Lewis." I countered, "Besides, she's <em>Victoria</em>. Did anyone ever doubt it?" </p><p>"I guess not," Quinn admitted. </p><p>I placed my book on the bedside table, flashing Quinn a rather forced smile and a faux cheery 'goodnight', before lying down and closing my eyes. </p><p>Luckily, sleep came easy. </p><p>But with it came a tangled web of dreams, of birds and flight, that left my heart racing and me strangely exhilarated.</p><p> </p><p><b><span class="u">- X -</span></b> </p><p> </p><p>The very thing I had been dreading happened second period the next day. We had Potions with the Hufflepuffs. I was at a table with two other Ravenclaws, dreading being stuck alone again, when Elyza came over and sat next to me. </p><p>She flashed me a friendly smile, and she got one in return. Moments later, the bell rang again and Professor Slughorn bustled in. I had met him once before when I was younger. He was rather... eccentric. </p><p>He gave the usual speech about safety and then started on the roll. Everything was going fine  -and in fact, I was looking forward to this class - until he reached my name on the roll.</p><p>"Freya Sallow." He called out.</p><p>"Here," I replied, only just loud enough to be heard. </p><p>I knew what was about to happen when he looked up at me, beaming. </p><p>"Well, aren't I lucky. If you're anything like your father and sister, you'll be the best student in class." </p><p>My eyes widened and I kept silent, not just because I didn't know what to say to that, but also because I didn't know if I could physically talk. I got several dirty looks from other students that I tried my hardest to ignore. </p><p>Thankfully, he moved on after that, finishing the roll and then putting the instructions up on the board, before beginning to make his way around class. </p><p>"You know, you never said that your dad was a professor here," Elyza said casually as I got out the ingredients I needed. </p><p>"I- how did you find out?" I asked. </p><p>"People talk." She shrugged. </p><p>"I'm sorry."</p><p>"It's fine. We had just met after all. I'd like to think you would have told me at some point, I mean, we are friends now." </p><p>"Friends?" I said cautiously. </p><p>"I'd like to think so." </p><p>"Me too. I just... I don't know why anyone would want to be friends with me." </p><p>"Is this common for you?" Elyza wondered.</p><p>"Is what common for me?" I frowned.</p><p>"Putting yourself down like that."</p><p>I shrugged, my cheeks flushed from more than just the heat rising from underneath my cauldron. Luckily I found an excuse to derail the conversation, having spotted Professor Slughorn nearing us. </p><p>"We should get on with our work," I said, nodding at him.</p><p>"Right." Elyza agreed. </p><p>We lapsed into a quite comfortable silence, working in synchrony. We only talked when one of us was unsure about something or had spotted a mistake in the other's work. Professor Slughorn passed us a few times. He didn't talk to us, but he did nod approvingly. </p><p>When class ended, I was feeling better. My potion had turned out well, and the praise Professor Slughorn had given me, while coloured by his predetermined opinion of me, was limited to my table. </p><p>"What have you got next?" Elyza asked as we joined the crowd of people streaming out the door. </p><p>"History of Magic. You?" </p><p>"Herbology." </p><p>Our conversation was interrupted by Professor Slughorn, who called me over to him. I shot Elyza a worried look, but she just smiled sympathetically and nudged me towards him.</p><p>"Yes, Professor?" I asked politely, coming to stand in front of his desk.</p><p>"I'm not sure if you know this, Miss Sallow, but I have a club called The Slug Club, for exceptional students. I wanted to extend an invitation. You'd be one of the youngest students there, but I can already tell that you're special."</p><p><em>You think I'm special because of my last name is</em>, I thought bitterly, but I forced a smile to stay on my face.</p><p>"I don't think-"</p><p>"Food is provided of course, and you'll be pre-informed of all dates. Sometimes we have some former members come and visit." He tempted. </p><p>"I mean..." </p><p>There wasn't any way I was getting out of this, was there?</p><p>"Sure." I agreed reluctantly, but I didn't think he noticed that. </p><p>"Brilliant!" He exclaimed, handing me a small envelope, "I'll see you there."</p><p>"Thank you, sir." I smiled softly, turning away and hurrying down the hallway to get to my next class in time. </p><p>As soon as I was away from the Potions classroom, the smile dropped from my face, dread filling me. </p><p>This was <em>exactly </em>what I hadn't wanted to happen.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. {5} Know-It-All</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Freya and Lizzie meet the Marauders and they're already a bad influence.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>As the first Slug Club meeting drew closer and closer, I got more and more on edge. I had just left another Potions lesson with Elyza, and we were currently waiting in the courtyard for Lily and Severus, who had had Defense Against the Dark Arts together.</p><p>"So, what's your sister like?" Elyza asked as we leaned back on the stone wall lining the paved area.</p><p>"Victoria? She's bright, outgoing, smart... everything I'm not, I guess."</p><p>"Hey, you're smart." Elyza protested, "Smarter than basically everyone else in our Potions and DADA classes at the very least."</p><p>I shrugged.</p><p>"It's in my blood."</p><p>"That doesn't make you not smart. It just makes your entire family smart. Was your mother a Ravenclaw too?"</p><p>"No, she was a Gryffindor."</p><p>"That makes sense. Gryffindors are far superior to Ravenclaws."</p><p>We whirled around to find a cocky kid, who also looked to be a first-year, grinning at us like he had just told the greatest joke in the world. Beside him, two of his friends were crowing with laughter, while the fourth hung back. They were all Gryffindors, judging by their ties.</p><p>"I don't mean to be rude," Elyza said sharply, "But who are you?"</p><p>"James Potter." The first kid announced proudly.</p><p>"Is that supposed to mean something?" I muttered just loud enough for them to hear.</p><p>James' face fell slack, but the kid beside him laughed heartily.</p><p>"Oh, she's fiery. I like her." He grinned, "I'm Sirius Black, by the way."</p><p>"That's a name I recognise," I said, eyeing his tie with a frown.</p><p>He glanced down at it as well, and then back up at me.</p><p>"Yep, really disappointed my family. Best day of my life."</p><p>"Really?" I asked disbelievingly.</p><p>I didn't want to imagine what would have happened had I not been in Ravenclaw.</p><p>"Of course. Bunch o' old hags." He said, scowling at the mere mention of them.</p><p>"You're the Sallow girl, right?" James asked, redirecting the conversation.</p><p>"One of them," I said, shifting uncomfortably.</p><p>"Freya, is it?" He continued.</p><p>I nodded.</p><p>"You're the one who keeps getting special attention." He said.</p><p>"No, she's not." Elyza fired back, coming to my defence.</p><p>I flashed her a grateful smile.</p><p>"Well, you keep betting everyone else out." James pointed out.</p><p>"You've seen me do actual spells. That's kind of hard to fake." I countered.</p><p>"Maybe your dad's helping you." He suggested.</p><p>"He's an Arithmancy professor." I said bluntly, "Besides, even if he was, that's not special attention. Most people have parents, it's not an advantage unique to my family."</p><p>"Yeah, but-" He started, before the fourth kid interrupted him.</p><p>"I think that's enough, James." He said quietly.</p><p>James looked at Sirius, who nodded in agreement.</p><p>"Fine."</p><p>"You just don't like being second best," I told him, riding a wave of confidence that I didn't know I had in me.</p><p>This time, James laughed along with Sirius.</p><p>"I think we might end up being good friends, Sallow." He said, "Even if you are a snarky know-it-all."</p><p>"Doubtful."</p><p>"We'll see about that." He fired back, "Oh, this is Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew, by the way."</p><p>"Hi," Peter exclaimed happily.</p><p>Remus, who was the one who had stood up for me, said hello much more quietly.</p><p>"Come on." Elyza said, nudging my shoulder, "They're here."</p><p>I glanced between me to find Lily and Severus making their way towards us. I nodded and set off Elyza. I didn't say goodbye to the Gryffindors, and I was fairly sure they were aware that it was intentional.</p><p>"Thanks for defending me, Lizzie," I said quietly.</p><p>"No problem." She assured me, flashing me a smile.</p><p>I smiled back, keeping in step with her as we drew closer to our friends.</p><p>"Why were you talking to them?" Severus spat the moment we were within earshot.</p><p>He was eyeing the four boys with unkempt rage. Lily smiled at him sympathetically and lay a reassuring hand on his arm.</p><p>"They came up to us." Elyza replied, "Trust me, it was not a pleasant conversation."</p><p>Severus still didn't look happy, but he settled down. Lily sat down on one of the benches that were in front of the fountain, the rest of us following suit. Severus sat down on her left, with Elyza and then me on her right.</p><p>Lily and Lizzie started chatting immediately, with Severus and I adding our input whenever it was necessary.</p><p>Our break passed quite quickly, and soon we were all standing up to make our way to our next classes.</p><p>We joined the crowd of students trying to get into the castle, hanging towards the back so we didn't get trampled by the older students. We ended up closer to the middle, however, as more students flooded in behind us, pushing us closer to the front.</p><p>As we neared the doors, the world seemed to shift. Colours became sharper and I could see everything in finer detail, but then everything seemed to change colour, flickering between what was normal and what wasn't.</p><p>I gasped, squeezing my eyes shut. I could dimly hear Lizzie saying my name, but everything else was louder. It was overwhelming.</p><p>I don't know how long I stayed like that, but when I finally risked blinking open my eyes, a fair chunk of the students had already entered the castle. My friends had hung back, and Lizzie was currently gripping my arms and keeping me steady.</p><p>"Freak." I heard someone mutter as they passed, and I visibly recoiled.</p><p>My heart was still pounding and my mind was running in circles. What had happened? What was wrong with me?</p><p>"Are you okay Freya?" Elyza asked, concern clear in her voice.</p><p>I just nodded in reply.</p><p>"What happened?" Severus asked.</p><p>His voice was rougher than Lizzie's, but he still seemed at least a bit concerned about my welfare.</p><p>"I don't - I don't know," I admitted, my voice shaky.</p><p>"Maybe you should go to the Hospital Wing," Lily suggested.</p><p>"No." I replied immediately, "No, I'm fine."</p><p>"I don't think you are, Frey'." She frowned.</p><p>"I am," I said confidently, even though I didn't believe it.</p><p>I strode past her, heading for my next class. I couldn't go to the Hospital Wing.</p><p>Then my father would find out. My sister would too.</p><p>I couldn't tell them about this; what would they think of me?</p><p>I couldn't tell anybody.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Happy Pride Month!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. {6} Dreams of Flight</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Freya has her first transformation and a few very confusing talks with Dumbledore.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>My little episode was not a one-time thing. </p><p>It happened again a few days after the incident in the courtyard, during a Herbology lesson which resulted in several cracked pots. </p><p>And then a couple of days after that, it happened while I was getting ready for bed. </p><p>And then the day after that, it happened during breakfast. </p><p>They became more and more frequent, and more and more overwhelming until one day, during our flight lesson, I collapsed. </p><p>I don't remember what happened after I hit the ground, but I do remember waking up in the hospital wing with a pounding headache. I could faintly hear two men arguing somewhere in the room. One I quickly identified as my father, which made my stomach churn, and the other I later identified as Professor Dumbledore. </p><p>My eyes were already shut, but I squeezed them tighter, praying that this was all just a terrible dream. </p><p>Thankfully, the voices died out not long after, and I risked opening my eyes. </p><p>A bright light was shining on the ceiling directly above my head, forcing me to blink my eyes rapidly in an attempt to get them to adjust faster. </p><p>Once they had, and the world had returned to its normal colour, I sat up, glancing around the room. The first thing I noticed was Professor Dumbledore sitting idly in the seat beside my bed, reading a magazine. </p><p>At that moment, I wanted nothing more than for the ground to open up and swallow me. But, alas, I wasn't that lucky. </p><p>"It's good to see you awake, Freya." He said conversationally, still gazing down at the magazine. </p><p>"Professor," I mumbled in greeting. </p><p>"No need for such formalities," He said dismissively, finally putting the magazine aside, "I have known you since you were a child, haven't I?"</p><p>I nodded mutely. </p><p>"What time is it?" I asked quietly a few moments later. </p><p>"Around 2 in the afternoon." </p><p>"I - I have classes to get to," I said, starting to pull my blankets off. </p><p>"You'll be staying here overnight." Dumbledore said, stopping me in my tracks, "Your teachers have been informed."</p><p>"What? But-"</p><p>"It's already been decided."</p><p>"No, I'm fine. It was just... the heat." I insisted, before internally cursing myself. </p><p>It was autumn.</p><p>"No, it wasn't. Your friends have informed me of previous incidents." </p><p>Even if I knew they had done it for my own good, I couldn't help but feel a little betrayed. </p><p>"Can I see them?" I asked hopefully. </p><p>"No." </p><p>"Why not?" I frowned. </p><p>He didn't answer. Instead, he stood, smiling at me. </p><p>"I shall see you tomorrow, Freya. In the meantime, get some rest." </p><p>I felt my anxiety build as I watched him leave. Because, as much as I had tried to avoid looking directly at him, I couldn't help but notice that the twinkle in his eye was gone. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <span class="u">- X - </span>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>Night came quickly. </p><p>I tried to sleep, I really did, but I couldn't. </p><p>No one had come to visit me. Not my friends, but that wasn't a surprise giving what Dumbledore had said, but my father hadn't come back and my sister hadn't come at all. </p><p>I was busy arguing with myself about why they hadn't come - either they weren't allowed for some unknown reason or they thought I was a freak and wanted nothing to do with me - when it happened. </p><p>At first, I thought I was imagining it. It felt as though I had pins and needles, but it quickly spread from my hands and feet to my whole body. </p><p>I sat up as a strange tingle ran up my spine, and then moments later my body contorted against my will. I let out a strangled scream. </p><p>My body momentarily relaxed, and I took the opportunity to scramble off the bed and attempt to stumble towards the door. My cry for help was swallowed as I fell to the floor and my contorted again. </p><p>I managed to choke out a pained sob as I writhed on the floor. My nails scraped the ground, desperately searching for a handhold. </p><p>It seemed like every bone in my body simultaneously broke, a disconcerting crack ringing through the air. I tried to scream, but it felt like my throat was closing in on itself and my whole body was on fire.</p><p>I don't know how long it lasted, as time seemed to stretch out in a haze of pain. At some point, I closed my eyes so I couldn't see what was happening. </p><p>When the pain eventually faded, my body felt strange. Like it wasn't my own. I blinked open my eyes and was ambushed by a completely different world. </p><p>Well, not really. I was still in the hospital wing, but everything looked... off. I could see everything. Every little detail, every little scratch on the floor and every missing flake of paint from the bedposts. </p><p>I was still lying down, or so I thought. When I tried to stand up, I couldn't. I physically couldn't. I looked down, finding talons instead of hands or feet. I tried to scramble backwards, but I comically tripped over myself, causing my wings - <em>my wings </em>- to flare out and keep my steady. </p><p>I let out a cry of surprise, but it came out as a squawk. </p><p>That's when the reality set in: I was a bird. </p><p>I didn't know how or why, but I knew that one thing, and it terrified me. </p><p>I think most of my friends would have been more excited by that prospect. They probably would have tried to fly, at the very least. All I did, once I had calmed down, was <em>hop</em> to the nearest corner and huddle there for the rest of the night, falling further and further down the deep hole that was the darkest part of my mind. </p><p>The sun had started to rise when something changed again. The same feeling of pins and needles raced through my body, followed by snapping of every bone in my tiny bird body. It hurt, but not as much. Fewer bones to break I guess. I was still careful not to cry out though, which was easier said than done. </p><p>But it was worth it. Three minutes of silent suffering later I was human again, still dressed in the plain white shorts and t-shirt I had changed into before bed. </p><p>I still didn't move from my corner. Instead, I pressed my body against the wall and made myself as small as possible. I felt like I should be crying, or screaming or <em>something</em>, because what had just happened was not normal, even for a witch, but I couldn't bring myself to do anything. </p><p>I just sat there in silence until the door to the hospital wing creaked open, and Dumbledore strode into the room. His eyes found me immediately, but I averted my gaze, terror filling me. </p><p>He approached me slowly, sitting down on the edge of the bed nearest me. He didn't say anything; it was clear he was waiting for me to start the conversation. </p><p>"You knew what was going to happen." I said quietly before my slither of courage could slip away, "That's why you didn't want anyone in here. That's why you wanted me to stay." </p><p>"I didn't think your loved ones should have to see in such pain, and I couldn't be sure exactly when it would happen."</p><p>"What is <em>'it'</em>?" I demanded, anger rising in me at his confirmation.</p><p>He <em>knew</em>. He knew, and he didn't tell me. </p><p>"Ask your father." He replied simply.</p><p>"Why? You clearly know, why can't you just tell me?"</p><p>"I promised that I would let him have this conversation with you." </p><p>"Then where is he?" </p><p>"This is hard for him." He began before I cut him off.</p><p>"Hard for <em>him</em>? I just turned into a freaking bird and I have no idea why." I burst out. </p><p>"I know, Freya. Just give him some time." </p><p>I scoffed, shaking my head. </p><p>"What can you tell me, then?"</p><p>"I can tell you that it will get easier. You will learn to control your changes. Until then, when you feel a change coming on, come to me." </p><p>"How am I supposed to know if 'a change is coming on'?"</p><p>"You've seen the warning signs, haven't you? Your 'episodes'."</p><p>"I guess." </p><p>"What happened during them?" He inquired. </p><p>I looked up sharply. He seemed genuinely curious, which put me on edge. But not enough to refuse to answer a direct question from the Headmaster.</p><p>"My sight became sharper, and... different. There was this weird purple-ish glow to everything. And I could hear more."</p><p>"Like a falcon's." He commented. </p><p>"I guess - wait, is that the bird I... you know?"</p><p>"Yes. You are aptly named Freya." </p><p>"What?" I frowned. </p><p>"Freya was a Norse goddess closely associated with Falcons." </p><p>"So my parents knew? Not just my father, my mother too." </p><p>Dumbledore seemed pained. </p><p>"Like I said, this is not my conversation to have with you." </p><p>I nodded. I didn't necessarily agree with that sentiment, but we were just going around in circles at this point. </p><p>"The dreams came first," I said, returning to his earlier question.</p><p>"Before your episodes?" He checked, catching on quickly. </p><p>"Yes. I dreamt that I was flying." </p><p>"Like a bird?" </p><p>"Well, certainly not on a broom. Those terrify me." I confessed. </p><p>"A lot of things terrify you." He said. </p><p>It wasn't a question. It was also true. </p><p>But she didn't particularly want to delve into her anxiety at that moment; she had had a long, mostly sleepless night and she was tired - a fact Dumbledore also seemed to realise. </p><p>"You can stay here for the rest of the day. You can have visitors. If they ask, tell them you've come down with something." He instructed, "That is unless you want to tell them the truth."</p><p>"I don't."</p><p>"Well, I would advise talking to someone - other than me, of course - but that is your choice."</p><p>He smiled at me before leaving, striding out the door with his usual flair, leaving me alone with my thoughts once more, which was <em>never </em>a good idea. </p><p>There was only a single thought continuously running through my mind: my father had the answers I needed, all I had to do was ask - but did I really want to?</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. {7} Remus Lupin</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Freya achieves flight and has a chat with Hogwarts' resident werewolf.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Small confession: in all my months regularly transforming into a bird, I had never once flown. I was very much a ground-loving bird.</p><p>Unfortunately, with the situation I now found myself in, that might have to change. </p><p>We had gone to our house in the country for Christmas, something which I was glad about because there was a lot more space, and Victoria had noticed something was off about me and kept trying to get me to talk. I gave her the cold shoulder. I felt a little bad about it, but I didn't waver.</p><p>At least it was Christmas. I was happy about that, as despite it being mandatory family time, there was another, very vast topic of conversation aside <em>me</em>. </p><p>Although, the keyword was 'was', as I woke up that morning to snow outside, a dizzying headache and split vision, the latter two I had come to realise meant a transformation was coming within the next few hours. </p><p>Thankfully - kind of - Tori chose that moment to burst into my room, already dressed in a hideously vibrant and tacky Christmas outfit, with a wide grin on her face. Sometimes I think she forgot that she was supposed to be the older sister.</p><p>She practically pulled me of bed, threw clothes at me and then skipped - honest to god <em>skipped </em>- out of the room. I got dressed, adding an extra coat so if I had to make a quick getaway outside I wouldn't freeze to death, and followed her downstairs. Not nearly as merrily though. </p><p>The morning passed in a whirlwind of food, presents and bright lights. I was beginning to think that my kinda-episode when I woke up had been a false alarm, but I was proven wrong around lunchtime. </p><p>I bolted without warning, ignoring the cries of my father and sister as I ran awkwardly across the snow. I made a beeline to the little cottage out back, which was a sort of guesthouse that was supposed to be for any visiting family, not that there was anyone except the three of us. </p><p>I don't know <em>what </em>possessed me to climb up to the roof, but that was where I found myself when I transformed, clinging to slippery tiles. </p><p>I squawked, flaring my wings and scrabbling for a hold on anything. It only worked for a moment, which landed me in the aforementioned situation, where I had effectively been flung into the air and was now plummeting towards the ground. </p><p>In a moment of pure desperation, I stretched my wings out and twisted in midair so I was the right way up. I didn't really know how to fly, but I had seen birds do it all my life, so it couldn't be <em>that </em>hard, right?</p><p>I flapped my wings, but it didn't seem to work. The ground was still approaching me at an alarming rate. </p><p>I didn't know what else to do. I wasn't an actual bird, I had no one to teach me to fly. I was starting to wish that my father hadn't left Aquila back in London. </p><p>I flapped harder, hoping that <em>something</em> happened. Literally anything, at this point. </p><p>To my surprise, 'something' did happen - and that something was akin to flight. </p><p>I jolted forward, and the ground stopped getting closer. I was <em>flying</em>. Of course, given my luck, my flight path was directly into a tree. I swerved as best I could, and plummeted again. Thankfully, this time it was a little softer, and I landed in the snow with a gentle thud instead of a bone-breaking crash. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <span class="u">- X -</span>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>The rest of the Christmas holidays came and went without me ever breaching the subject with anyone. I still talked to my friends, but even less than I did before. I think they had noticed, but if they had, they didn't say anything. I threw myself into my classes instead. </p><p>I got top marks on all my assignments, and Slughorn was singing my praises. Lily's too. Despite the fact she was a Muggleborn, he had taken a liking to her due to her talent in Potions. It wasn't long before she too was invited to join The Slug Club. </p><p>However, my success had its downsides. Ravenclaws weren't like Gryffindors - you might not know that they hate you unless you know the signs. </p><p>I did know the signs. </p><p>I didn't do my homework in the Common Room anymore. I frequented the library instead. Victoria had told me that I just needed to prove that I was succeeding on my own merits, not because of our father's position, but it was a lot harder than it sounded. </p><p>No matter how many spells I performed perfectly in class, they didn't change their minds. Ravenclaws were stubborn like that. Quinn was all right, and so were most of the older students. I guess I just had to wait it out, but until then I planned on avoiding them as much as possible. </p><p>It was kind of difficult, seeing as I slept in the same tower, ate at the same table, and in some cases, attended the same classes as them, but I did the best I could. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <span class="u">- X -</span>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>It was about an hour before curfew when I finished my homework. It was an Astronomy essay on Jupiter's moons. The library was mostly empty, which is why I was surprised when someone came up to me.</p><p>"Freya?" </p><p>I practically fell out of my chair but managed to compose myself just in time, and turned to look at the newcomer. It was Remus Lupin - one of the four notoriously mischievous Gryffindor boys.</p><p>"That's me," I said quietly, my eyes darting around the surrounding area, looking for his friends. </p><p>"They aren't here," he assured me, sitting in the chair beside mine.</p><p> "Good," I said without thinking. </p><p>My eyes widened, and I opened my mouth to correct myself, but he waved me off. </p><p>"Professor Dumbledore said I should talk to you." </p><p>I froze - again. </p><p>"Why?" I asked slowly, "What about?" </p><p>Now it was his turn to glance around apprehensively. </p><p>"I'm a werewolf," he admitted in a small voice. </p><p>My eyes got even wider if that was possible, and although my body seemed to now be permanently frozen, my mind was moving faster than it ever had. </p><p>"Don't worry, I go... somewhere... isolated every full moon," he reassured me. </p><p>"Why did Dumbledore tell you to come to me?" I asked softly. </p><p>"I've... been struggling to keep it from my friends. I don't have anyone to talk to about it, and I mentioned it to the headmaster, and he said I should come to you. He said you would understand, and maybe we could help each other." </p><p>"I'm not a werewolf," I told him, "Just so that's clear. But... I mean,  guess I am, kinda, in the same boat as you." </p><p>"If you're not a werewolf..." He frowned.</p><p>"I'm not normal either," I said quietly, scanning the surrounding area once more, "I... transform sometimes. Into a bird. A falcon. It's not at the full moon, and there's no real pattern to it, but I can tell when it's coming. Now, at least. I couldn't the first time."</p><p>Remus was silent for a few excruciatingly long moments, and my heart seemed to drop down to my stomach. </p><p>"Does it hurt?" he asked eventually. </p><p>I almost sighed in relief. </p><p>"Yeah. Less so now, but the first time... well, it's like every bone in my body breaks, and then reassembles in a way that's just... wrong. It's still like that, but it doesn't hurt as much anymore. I guess I'm getting used to it."</p><p>"Do you know what you are?" he inquired timidly. </p><p>"No," I admitted, "Dumbledore knows, but he said it was my dad's secret to tell, and I don't... I don't really <em>want </em>to know." </p><p> "Why not?" </p><p>"It's just... once I know, I can't take it back. Once I know <em>what </em>I am, I am that. I have a label. I am a thing. It makes it harder to ignore."</p><p>"I guess that makes sense," Remus reasoned, "But on the other hand, if you have to live with it, it's better to accept it, at least a little. Being able to read first-hand accounts about werewolves actually brought me some comfort. Maybe it would help you too?"</p><p>"Maybe," I answered doubtfully. </p><p>"I'm guessing you haven't mentioned this to your friends." </p><p>"I don't want to lose them."</p><p>"If they're worth being friends with, you won't." </p><p>"Hypocrite," I accused teasingly, "You haven't told yours either." </p><p>"I probably should."</p><p>"When you do, I will."</p><p>"Deal," he agreed, surprising me and by the looks of it, himself as well, "Until then, I guess we have each other to talk to." </p><p>"I guess we do." I realised. </p><p><em>Maybe this would be a good thing</em>, I thought. <em>Maybe someone knowing my secret will make it easier to deal with, and easier to tell my friends - eventually. </em></p><p>"I guess this is a two-way street," I said, looking straight at him for the first time, "So, what's it like being a werewolf?"</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. {8} Excuses, Excuses</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Freya finally confronts her father.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"I want to know the truth," I declared, not wasting a moment once the door to my father's office was closed. </p><p>He froze, his back still turned to me.</p><p>"About...?" </p><p>"You know what," I said, swallowing roughly as I recalled every one of my past transformations. </p><p>There had been eight in the six months since the first, each one easier than the last.</p><p>"Freya," he said slowly, lowering himself into his chair, suddenly looking years older, "Are you sure you want to know?"</p><p>"I'm a Ravenclaw, aren't I?"</p><p>"You are," he replied, smiling softly, "And so much like your mother."</p><p>"She was a Gryffindor, so I doubt that." </p><p>"There's more to a person than their house, my dear, your mother's a prime example of that." </p><p>"I wouldn't know." </p><p>My father hung his head, letting out a sigh. </p><p>"Why don't we talk about this tomorrow? I have marking to do."</p><p>"It can wait," I said, "because if I leave this room now, I don't know if I'll still want to know when you're 'ready', and I think you know that."</p><p>"Freya."</p><p>"Please, Dad," I said, my voice breaking, "I'm tired of wondering and not knowing, and I've finally managed to summon the courage to face you. <em>Please.</em>"</p><p>"I'm not sure you're in the right state of mind to hear this-"</p><p>"Dad." </p><p>"Your sister should probably hear this too."</p><p>"Why? I haven't told her anything." </p><p>"Well... Albus. He should-"</p><p>"He told me to talk to you when it first happened. No more excuses, Dad. I want the truth. No sugar coating, now skating over anything. The whole truth."  </p><p>"You're too young for this, Freya." </p><p>"I have spent the past six months even more terrified than usual, wondering what is wrong with me. Wondering what kind of monster - what kind of <em>freak </em>I am. And then I decided that I didn't want to know the answer, because if it didn't have a name then I could ignore it. Like if I didn't know what I was, I wasn't it."</p><p>My father sighed, pinching his brow. </p><p>"You're not going to give this up, are you?" </p><p>"Well..."</p><p><em>If you force me to leave I probably won't ever ask you again</em>. </p><p>"No." </p><p>He nodded slowly. </p><p>"Sit down, Freya." </p><p>I eyed him apprehensively for a moment but complied.  </p><p>"You know, Aquila didn't grow up with a mother either," he said, "It was just her, her dad and younger brothers." </p><p>"I have uncles?" I asked, my eyes widening. </p><p>"Right... I forgot you didn't - yes, you do, but that's not what you'll be focusing on soon."</p><p>"Okay... so, M-Mum didn't grow up with a mother either. What is it, some kind of family curse?"</p><p>"A blood curse. Passed from mother to daughter for generations." </p><p>"I... I was joking, but... is that what causes the - you know?" </p><p>"Transformations?" he checked. </p><p>She nodded numbly. </p><p>"Yes."</p><p>"What does that have to do with the no-mother thing?" I asked shakily. </p><p>"Do you know what a maledictus is?" </p><p>"I've heard it before, but I don't know what it means." </p><p>"It's a blood curse-"</p><p>"Passed from mother to daughter, yes. Where does it come from?" </p><p>"We don't know. Most were first put in place hundreds, if not thousands of years ago. The curse varies from bloodline to bloodline, but they all essentially do the same thing. At some point, a daughter born of that blood will start transforming into an animal. Could be anything. In this case, it's a falcon. Your mother had a bit of a dark sense of humour, so she named you Freya."</p><p>"Dumbledore mentioned that. Kind of." </p><p>"Eventually, you'll gain more control over your transformations. With this particular curse, it first appears at the age when you become more in control of your magic. Over time, you'll gain more control over your transformations, and they'll hurt less until its effortless, and you can do it at will."</p><p>"That sounds kind of cool, at the moment," I admitted, "but I have a feeling there's a downside. Well, another downside." </p><p>My father sighed again before answering. It was only then that I noticed the unshed tears in his eyes. </p><p>"Eventually..." He swallowed roughly, "it becomes permanent. One day you'll change, and you won't be able to change back." </p><p>"You mean... one-day I'll..." </p><p>"Yes." </p><p>I let out a shuddering breath, lifting my legs from the ground and curling them close to my chest, resting my head on my knees. </p><p>"It's what happened to your mother," he barrelled on, "she-"</p><p>"Aquila - our falcon. It's her, isn't it?" I asked shakily, meeting his eyes. </p><p>"Yes." </p><p>"And you never told me. You told me she was dead, but she isn't." </p><p>"Freya-"</p><p>"Does Tori know?"</p><p>"No." </p><p>"Nice to know that at least I'm not the last one to find out." </p><p>"She doesn't recognise us, Freya, she used to, but you know what happens with Transfigurations... she's lost all sense of her former self. She's a falcon now, she can't be your mother." </p><p>"You still <em>lied </em>to me. For years. About my mother - about my life. Were you ever going to tell me if I hadn't outright asked?" </p><p>"Look-"</p><p>"No - were you?" </p><p>I was shaking now. I had stumbled to my feet about two outbursts ago, so I stood in front of him, trembling, my hands closed into fists. It felt like my senses had been heightened, and my stomach plummeted when I realise that they had. </p><p>I squeezed my eyes shut momentarily, before re-fixing my gaze on my father. </p><p>"No," he admitted quietly, "I wouldn't have." </p><p>"You mean I would have lived my life not knowing how soon it would all end - how soon will it all end, anyway?"</p><p>"Your mum made it to 28," he said quietly, "You were one. Do you remember anything?"</p><p>"No." </p><p>"Good. The aftermath was..." </p><p>"I don't care how <em>hard</em> the aftermath was for you," I fumed, "I care that you <em>lied</em>. I care that you actively hid the truth from me. A truth I had the right to know." </p><p>"Freya..." </p><p>"No - just... no," I said, shaking my head and blinking away tears. </p><p>I backed out of the room before he could say anything else. The door slammed shut behind me, the harsh sound echoing through the empty corridor, but I couldn't care less. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. {9} Feathery Friends</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Freya has an unusual nighttime visitor and meets up with her friends in Diagon Alley.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Just FYI, chapters 1 and 7 have been edited, if you want to check them out.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was easy to avoid my father for the last month and a half of school. </p><p>At home, not so much. </p><p>It's hard to avoid someone when you live in the same house as them. I spent most of the summer squirrelled away in my room with Victoria playing devil's advocate with the two of us. </p><p>"Ha!" she declared, bursting into my room one day in late August, "Ha, ha, ha." </p><p>"Do I want to ask?" I said tiredly, not looking up from the essay I was almost finished writing. </p><p>Well, editing. I had had plenty of time to finish my homework within the first week of being home, now I was just obsessively going back over it again and again because I had nothing better to do. </p><p>"We've got our school letters, and we have to go get our supplies. Together." </p><p>"I don't need to go," I pointed out. </p><p>"Dad always forces us to go. Otherwise, I would have bowed out years ago."</p><p>"I think he'll make an exception."</p><p>"Are you willing to bet on that?"</p><p>I finally dropped my quill and looked up at my sister. </p><p>"How much have you got?"</p><p>"Oh, you're that cocky, now are you? What happened to the sweet sister I had this time last year."</p><p>"Life's too short to be worrying about what other people think about you," I said grimly. </p><p>Victoria didn't know what I meant - I hadn't told her, and neither had our father. That much I could be sure of when it came to him.</p><p>"Dad!" she called. </p><p>I was sure he either wasn't going to hear her or just wasn't going to come, but he must have been in his office and not realised <em>where </em>she was, because less than thirty seconds later he appeared in my doorway. </p><p>He looked like he immediately regretted it. </p><p>"Do we have to go to Diagon Alley to get our school supplies?"</p><p>"Of course we do, Victoria, it's the same every year," he replied testily. </p><p>"Freya too, right?" </p><p>"Well, if she wants to." </p><p>"What?" Victoria exclaimed, her mouth agape. </p><p>"If you'll excuse me, I have work to do." </p><p>He left, leaving Victoria to turn to me, still gaping. </p><p>"How much do you owe me?" </p><p>"We never shook on it."</p><p>"You're just trying to get out of it." </p><p>"How... why? Why would he say that? What happened between the two of you? I've watched you try to avoid each other all summer, and it's just about driving me insane."</p><p>"Insanity is a serious thing, not something to joke about," I said, stifling a laugh. </p><p>Victoria collapsed down on my bed, her arms spread wide as she sighed. </p><p>"If you want me to pay attention to you, mission accomplished. I'm already talking to you."</p><p>"I <em>want </em>you to answer my questions, Freya. You've been avoiding them. What happened?" </p><p>"Would you believe me if I said nothing?"</p><p>"No." </p><p>"Well, it's the only answer you're getting." </p><p>"Fine, I'll just get Dad to tell me." </p><p>"Good luck with that," I scoffed, "He doesn't like to tell people things, even if they're matters of life and death." </p><p>"If it's that important, Freya, <em>tell me</em>," Victoria pleaded, sitting up. </p><p>When I ignored her and returned to my work, she sighed and left my room, the door closing behind her with a soft thud. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <span class="u">- X -</span>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>That night, I couldn't sleep. </p><p>It wasn't because of the earlier conversation, at least, I didn't think so, but for whatever reason, I couldn't. I tossed and turned for hours until I eventually gave up and just stared at the ceiling. </p><p><em>Maybe I am asleep</em>, I thought after what felt like an hour of lying there<em>, and this is just the nightmare I'm trapped in</em>. </p><p>I was beginning to hope for that explanation because otherwise I would be completely wiped out in the morning when the door creaked open. If I hadn't already been completely still, I would have frozen. </p><p>I listened carefully, surprised when my hearing suddenly sharpened, as though my falcon senses had kicked in. I heard what sounded like tiny claws scrabbling on the ground, followed by a rustle of feathers and I had almost put all the pieces together when something landed on my bed and I sat upright, staring into vibrant amber eyes. </p><p>It was Aquila. </p><p>My dad's falcon. </p><p>No, my mum. </p><p>My mum, who had been living in the same house as me since I was a kid, and I hadn't known it. </p><p>My mum, whose fate would one day be my own, which the very thought of filled me with dread. </p><p>"Hi," I said, my voice slightly raspy. </p><p>I didn't know <em>why </em>I said it. It wasn't like she could understand me. She hopped towards me, shifting her wings like how a person would fidget. </p><p>She squawked quietly, tilting her head to the side and staring at me. I was half afraid she was going to attack. When she moved forward again, I flinched, and she stopped, tilting her head to the other side. </p><p>She hopped forward once more, and this time I didn't flinch. She kept moving until she was standing with her talons brushing my hand, still watching me through beady eyes. </p><p>She looked at my abandoned pillow, and then back at me, and then back at the pillow. </p><p>"Do... you want me to lie down?" I asked hesitantly, feeling more than a little stupid. </p><p>She didn't answer (duh) and didn't give any sign that she had registered what I said. She just kept looking between me and the pillow. </p><p>I lay back slowly, watching her as best I could despite the awkward position that put my eyes in. Once my head was back on the pillow, she hopped forward and tapped her beak against my head. I only just managed not to jump. </p><p>She then climbed over me to perch on my headboard. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see her close her eyes and tuck her head next to her wing. </p><p>I felt more than a little unnerved by having her there, but I closed my eyes as well, and what seemed like moments later my head grew fuzzy and my thoughts sluggish, and I slipped into unconsciousness. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <span class="u">- X -</span>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>I truly had had no intentions of going to Diagon Alley with my father and sister, but when Elyza mentioned in one of her letters to us - us being Lily, Severus and I - that she was going the next Sunday, and suggested that we meet up with her, Lily had, of course, jumped on board right away, and managed to convince Severus to come to, I didn't really have a choice. </p><p>My father and I managed to remain civil, but the tension between us was palpable, and Victoria - I actually felt sorry for her - was both metaphorically and literally stuck in the middle. </p><p>At present, they were browsing the books in Flourish and Blotts, having already brought all our required schoolbooks. I was hanging back, watching the window, anxiously awaiting my friends' arrival. </p><p>I still hadn't told them. Not in the last weeks of school, and certainly not by letter over the summer. </p><p>I think they knew something was wrong, but they hadn't outright asked me about it. They might now, of course, and I wasn't sure <em>what </em>I would tell them then. The only person I had ever actually told about it was Remus. I had told him everything, of course, and he had vowed to do research on blood curses over the summer, although from his letters it didn't seem like he had found anything about reversing or removing them. </p><p>There was still a little flicker of hope inside of me that somehow this could all be reversed, that it wasn't permanent, but then the dreary, logical side of me took over like it often did, and that sliver of hope was quashed. </p><p>I drew in a shaky breath, casting a glance at to my father and sister. The moment I looked over, my father's eyes darted away. </p><p>I gritted my teeth and resumed my window vigil. Thankfully, no sooner had I done that did Elyza appear around the corner, her unruly blonde curls tied back into a ponytail for the first time ever. </p><p>She practically flew through the door and barrelled into me, beaming. I hugged her back tightly, savouring the moments before I inevitably had to return to reality. </p><p>Eventually, she pulled back, still smiling like it was Christmas morning. </p><p>"It's good to see you, Freya."</p><p>"You too, Lizzie." </p><p>I smiled at her - probably the first time I'd smiled all summer. </p><p>"Hi, you must be Elyza." </p><p>My face visibly fell - something I knew that Lizzie took note of - as my father approached us. To her credit, Lizzie smiled at him and shook his outstretched hand. </p><p>"I am. It's nice to meet you, Mr Sallow." </p><p>"Are your parents around?"</p><p>"They're at the Menagerie with my little brother." </p><p>"And they're okay with you wandering around by yourself?"</p><p>"I'm not by myself, I'm with Freya. And then when Lily and Severus come, I'll be with them too."</p><p>My father nodded slowly. </p><p>"How about we wait outside for them?" I suggested, casting my father a dark look. </p><p>I knew Lizzie noticed that too. I also knew that we'd definitely be talking about it because she wasn't the kind of person to just let things be. Lily wasn't either, so I prayed that Lizzie didn't tell her. </p><p>I didn't wait for him to reply before I took Lizzie by the wrist and half dragged her out of the shop. </p><p>"What was <em>that </em>about?" she asked the moment we were clear. </p><p>I shrugged, busying myself with looking down the street. </p><p>"You can't get away without saying anything," Lizzie pointed out, "And you can either tell me, now, or tell all of us, together." </p><p>I hesitated once more before answering. As much as I didn't want to say anything to her, saying something to all three of them would be infinitely worse. </p><p>"He didn't tell me something important. Something really important. Like, life or death. About my mother - about <em>me</em>." </p><p>"Does it have anything to do with your... episodes, last year?" </p><p>I nodded mutely.</p><p>"Do you want to tell me about it?" she offered. </p><p>"No, it's personal," I said quickly. </p><p>"Okay." </p><p>She didn't push it. I don't think I've ever been more thankful in my life. </p><p>We only stood in silence for another minute or so, as then Severus and Lily were running towards us. Well, Lily was running. Severus was trailing behind her looking rather dejected. </p><p>"Hi!" Lily exclaimed, wrapping them both in a tight hug. </p><p>When Severus got close enough, she pulled him in too. </p><p>"Today is going to be the best day ever," Lily declared once she had let them go. </p><p>I glanced between Lily and Elyza's wide grins and Severus' begrudging smile. I didn't think that this would be the best day ever, but maybe it wouldn't be as bad as I thought. </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. {10} Marauder Number Five</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Freya freaks out, ditches her friends, breaks school rules, and then gets some new ones.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I didn't like lying to my friends. </p><p>It was different before because I just wasn't telling them something. Now they were asking questions - questions I didn't want to answer but would undoubtedly have to answer eventually. </p><p>It started during our trip to Diagon Alley, and then on the train, I was practically ambushed by Elyza and Lily. Even Severus seemed invested.</p><p>It was only the end of our first full day of school, and I already felt myself buckling under the pressure. So, I had retreated to the library at the first chance I had to work on nonexistent homework, which was where Remus found me almost an hour later. </p><p>"Lily was asking about you," he commented as he settled down in a chair next to me. </p><p>"She does that," I said, stubbornly staring at my book, "What was it this time?"</p><p>"If I knew if anything was going on with you, but, uh, why did she ask me?" </p><p>"I've mentioned you on occasion. I guess she's gotten that desperate for answers." </p><p>"It's only the first day back at school." </p><p>"I was lying to them last year too, and they know it." </p><p>"You're going to lose them if you don't tell them the truth," Remus cautioned. </p><p>"And I could lose more than them if I do," I fired back, "We've had this conversation before, Remus." </p><p>"You told me." </p><p>"You told me first. Besides, you still haven't told your friends." </p><p>"Told us what?" Sirius said with a wicked grin, stepping out of the shadows of a nearby bookshelf. </p><p>I let my book fall closed and tossed Remus an accusatory glance as James and Peter popped out from beside him. </p><p>"How long were you waiting for your opening line?" I asked sweetly. </p><p>"Waiting?" he scoffed, "Sallow, I don't wait for an opening line, any line works!" </p><p>"Sure. So you weren't listening to half of our conversation?" </p><p>"No," he said. </p><p>He stayed silent for less than 10 seconds before he dissolved into laughter. </p><p>"We heard the whole thing, dummy." </p><p>"I might not know everything, but I do know that I'm smarter than you so you might want to be careful how you toss that word around." </p><p>"You're more fiery than I remember," James said, cocking an eyebrow curiously, "What in Merlin's name happened to you over the holidays?" </p><p>"I had an eye-opening conversation. It gave me a refreshed view on life." </p><p>"Is that a fancy way of saying she's going through a rebellious phase?" Sirius stage-whispered. </p><p>"I'm <em>not  </em>'going through a rebellious phase'," I growled. </p><p>"Sure, sure," James said, "But if you are, we'd be happy to turn four into five." </p><p>"You have to complete the initiation ceremony first," Sirius added gleefully. </p><p>"I have better things to do than entertain whatever it is that you're suggesting." </p><p>"Like pretend to do homework to avoid telling your friends some mysterious secret?" James suggested. </p><p>"I have no idea what you're talking about." </p><p>"It's okay, we know what it is," Sirius said confidently. </p><p>Remus and I exchanged a harried glance, half petrified, half disbelieving. </p><p>"What is it?" Remus asked, stumbling over his words. </p><p>"You two are dating," Sirius declared with a grin, "And you think everyone will say you're too young for it." </p><p>I couldn't help it. I burst out laughing, slumping down in my chair. Remus just looked relieved, if a little flustered. </p><p>"What - no," he stammered. </p><p>"C'mon, you can tell us," James said. </p><p>"We're not dating," I said firmly, failing to control my laughter. </p><p>"Then what is it?" Sirus whined. </p><p>I shot Remus a look. He shook his head slightly. </p><p>"Not my secret to tell," I said. </p><p>"What about your secret?" Sirius queried.</p><p>"If I haven't told my friends, I'm not telling any of you." </p><p>"How come you told Remus then?" James sighed. </p><p>"Long story," I muttered, collecting my books and returning them to my bag. </p><p>As I slung it over my shoulder, Madam Pince rushed over. </p><p>"Stop making so much noise!" she squawked, fixing us with a piercing glare.</p><p>A bolt of fear shot through me, but I managed to push it away. After all, what did it matter if the librarian thought ill of me? </p><p>I stalked past her without saying a word or glancing back at Remus and his friends. I wasn't sure where I was going, as the Ravenclaw common room would be crowded at the moment and I didn't really feel like dealing with people at the moment - especially my sister - and just wandering the halls increased the likelihood of running into one of my friends. </p><p>The more time I spent with them, the closer I came to telling them everything. It was probably an irrational fear (I had a lot of those), at least for Lily and Elyza. I was a bit more on the fence about Severus. If even one of them reacted badly, not only could I lose a friend, they could tell the whole school, and I couldn't deal with that. </p><p>Then again, if I was going to die young anyway, what did it matter? If I was always going to lose them, did it matter when it happened? </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <span class="u">- X -</span>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>I did a stupid thing. </p><p>I did a very, very stupid thing. </p><p>I had found out about a book on blood curses kept in the restricted section of the library from the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. I knew he wouldn't sign a permission note, but I needed it. So, I had snuck into the library after hours and broke into the restricted section. </p><p>I had managed to locate it without much trouble, and no alarms went off when I pulled it out. At least, none that I could hear, but maybe one had gone off, because moments later our new caretaker, Argus Filch, was hobbling down the hallway, a lantern swinging in his hands. </p><p>I froze at the sound of his steps, the book still clasped in my hands. It took only seconds for my mind to be jolted back into working condition, and I dropped to my knees, depositing the book on the wooden floor before I closed my eyes, willing for something to change. </p><p>It was the first thing I had ever <em>wanted </em>to become a falcon, and it seemed as if my body had been waiting for it, as it responded immediately. </p><p>I didn't scream as my body changed, shrinking, growing feathers, and wings, and a beak and talons. </p><p>When I opened my eyes again I was much smaller than before, and my eyesight was significantly better. My hearing was also better, and I could very distinctly hear the Filch getting closer. There wasn't a moment to waste. </p><p>I flapped my wings and took off, although I only hovered a few inches above the ground while I struggled to get a grip on the book with my talons. The echoing sound of heavy footsteps only made me panic more. </p><p>Finally, my talons latched onto one of the grooves in the book and allowed me to get a proper grip on it. I shot upwards, trying to be as quiet as I could, and landed on top of one of the bookcases, making sure to balance the book in a way that meant it would be easy to pick up again. </p><p>I stayed perfectly still as Filch shuffled down the aisle, studying everything with those beady eyes of his. I was scared to even breathe until he was safely gone. </p><p>Once I could no longer hear him, I took off again, the book hindering my flight somewhat - especially given the fact that I was inexperienced in that department - but I made it out the door safely nonetheless. </p><p>I don't know whether it was the logical part of my brain that said it would be safer to fly back to the Ravenclaw dormitory, or the instinctual falcon-esque part of it that didn't want to stop flying, but either way, I didn't shift back once I escaped the library. </p><p>I took off into the hall, keeping towards the ceiling, but not close enough so that my head or wings - <em>I had wings, </em>that was still sometimes hard to comprehend - brushed the stone. My heart was racing. Normally, I would chalk that up to nerves, but this time seemed different. I wasn't <em>afraid</em>, I was exhilarated. Excited. High on adrenaline. </p><p>I had <em>enjoyed </em>it. The thrill of almost getting caught, of doing something wrong. </p><p>I felt a surge of guilt immediately after that. I shouldn't feel excited at the prospect of breaking rules. I did, though. That was the problem. </p><p>Was this why Remus' friends continuously got into trouble? For the thrill of breaking rules, the rush of adrenaline of almost getting caught (or in their case, actually getting caught).</p><p>If so, maybe they were onto something. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <span class="u">- X -</span>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>"I've changed my mind." </p><p>All four boys looked up at me with varying degrees of surprise clear on their faces. </p><p>It was the day after my break-in and the last day of the first week of school. I hadn't given myself much time to internally debate what I was going to do, I just told myself that I was going to do it. So, at break I sought out the four Gryffindors instead of my friends, who I had been trying to avoid as much as possible. </p><p>"Really?" James asked incredulously. </p><p>I felt myself begin to spiral at that, questions like 'Was he just kidding?' or 'Are they going to make fun of me because of this?'  leaping to the forefront of my mind. </p><p>"Brilliant!" Sirius exclaimed. </p><p>At that, all my worries dissipated. </p><p>"What changed your mind?" James inquired. </p><p>"I broke into the restricted section of the library," I answered honestly. </p><p>Sirius let out a loud whoop that made me wince. </p><p>"I knew you had it in you, Sallow," he grinned, "This is gonna be great!"</p><p>"Yeah," James agreed, a matching grin on his face, "You're annoying, but you're talented like us, and we can always use that." </p><p>"Plus, you're friends with Lily," Sirus added cheekily. </p><p>James elbowed him. </p><p>"Shut up," he hissed, his cheeks going red. </p><p>"Are you sure about this?" Remus asked quietly as James and Sirius began to bicker. </p><p>"Yes." </p><p>"You have friends." </p><p>"And like you said, I'm going to lose them if I tell them what's really going on and I can't do that. It might as well happen on my own terms." </p><p>"So you're just going to make new friends? With us?" </p><p>"I'm not here because I want to be friends with them," I said, shaking my head, "I'm friends with you, yes, but I have no interest in being friends with them. That makes them easy to lie to, and you're the one person I can actually talk about this with."</p><p>"But you don't."</p><p>"But I could." </p><p>Remus paused for a moment, glancing towards his friends. </p><p>"Are you sure about this?" he repeated, "About lying? What if you do become friends with them? What happens then? Will you move on to someone else when it becomes too hard to lie? That's not sustainable, Freya." </p><p>"Relax, Remus," I said, "You don't have to worry. I'm <em>not </em>going to become friends with them. Ever."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. {11} Brotherhood</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Freya joins Remus on the full moon.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"I have an idea," I told Remus the day before the first full moon of the year. </p><p>"Is it as good as the one you had when you decided to ditch your friends?" he deadpanned, not looking up from his homework. </p><p>I rolled my eyes as I sat down in the chair beside him. </p><p>"It's the full moon tomorrow night," I began. </p><p>"Yes, I am aware of that." </p><p>"You mentioned that it's hard to spend the night alone inside that shack, so, I was thinking, maybe I could come with you?" </p><p>"Freya..."</p><p>"Not as me-me, as falcon-me. Werewolves only bite humans, so I'd be fine."</p><p>"That's if you manage to stay in control for all that time and not shift back prematurely." </p><p>"Trust me, Remus, I can control myself. It'll help you feel less alone." </p><p>"Isn't tomorrow night a Slug Club meeting?" he asked casually. </p><p>I froze. </p><p>"I don't know, is it?" </p><p>"This isn't a valid reason to get out of it," Remus said. </p><p>"Look, I told Slughorn that I can't go because I have somewhere to be outside of school, so I just need to not be here that night." </p><p>"He believed you?"</p><p>"Well, he wanted to go check with my <em>father</em>." </p><p>"How'd you talk him out of it?" </p><p>"I told him to go ahead," I answered, "I had a feeling he wouldn't do anything to further annoy me, and I was right."</p><p>"Fine," Remus relented, "Just this once." </p><p>"That's all I'm asking." </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <span class="u">- X -</span>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>To be honest, I wasn't sure about whether my brilliant join-Remus-on-the-full-moon-as-a-falcon idea was actually a brilliant idea.</p><p>But since I was far more anxious about running into Professor Slughorn or another one of the Slug Club members (including my sister, who hadn't shut up about it, and Louis, who she had dragged into it in an attempt to tag team me) I went anyway. </p><p>I left the castle just after dinner, avoiding everyone I knew, and shifted behind the greenhouses. A now-familiar thrill set in the moment I took off, soaring above the glass buildings overflowing with magical plants, and, moments later, the spires of the castle.</p><p>I passed the Ravenclaw tower, a splash of blue appearing in the corner of my eye and then vanishing a moment later. </p><p>Despite my initial reservations, I had learnt to love flying. My first few attempts were, well, less than graceful, but I had picked it up quite quickly. </p><p>The rush of the wind pushing against me or propelling me forward was exhilarating, and the view was amazing, if a little terrifying. </p><p>I continued upwards until it seemed like I was flying threw clouds, and then spiralled into a steep dive. Every time I did it I wanted to scream, but I was a bird, so of course I couldn't. Besides, by now I was practised enough to be able to pull up out of the dive at a moment's notice. </p><p>I slowed to a stop above the Forbidden Forest, stopping to perch in one of the trees. It would be a while until I could join Remus, which meant sitting as a bird for at least an hour. I could always change back, but I didn't think that wandering around the forest in human form as night fell was such a good idea, and it wasn't like I trusted myself to have the hand-eye-coordination or upper body strength to stay in a tree while in human form. </p><p>I stayed away from Quidditch for a reason. </p><p>That, and I had collapsed during a flying lesson and I was reminded of the subsequent experiences every time I looked at a broom. </p><p>I shifted slightly on the branch, casting an eagle eye - well, no, a <em>falcon </em>eye - onto the forest below. I couldn't see anything dangerous, but that didn't mean that it was safe. After all, you couldn't see Hydrogen Cyanide but it was still lethal. </p><p>
  <b>
    <span class="u">- X -</span>
  </b>
</p><p>Like Remus had requested, I stayed away from the shack until after the moon had risen so I wouldn't have to see him transform. </p><p>It was only once the moon was shining overhead that I took off from my perch into the night. The flight from the Forbidden Forest to the decrepit house on the outskirts of Hogsmeade was quick, and shortly after it came into view, something inside it started howling. </p><p>Although, I say that like I didn't know what was making the noise. </p><p>It was Remus, and he sounded distressed. Or maybe that was how he always sounded in wolf form. It wasn't she'd ever seen him on a full moon before. Either way, she sped up and crashed through an already mostly-broken window on the top floor of the shack moments later. </p><p>No sooner had she landed on the floor and shaken out her wings did Remus burst into the room. I could barely resist flinching back, but he didn't try to attack. He ran around me once, and then lay down in front of me, looking surprisingly chilled out. </p><p>I guess he had reassured himself that I wasn't a threat, and that I also wasn't something he wanted to bite. </p><p>I fluttered my wings slightly, reaching my head out towards him in a gesture of good faith. He whined, clambering to his feet and sniffed me. A gust of air ruffled the feathers on my head and I squawked indignantly, a fact he seemed to find extremely amusing. </p><p>I watched as he bounded over to the door, looking over his shoulder as though to beckon me to follow him. I stretched out my wings and took off, sailing over his head. He howled, chasing me down the hallway. </p><p>I should have been scared. After all, a werewolf was chasing me down a creepy hallway in an abandoned house at night. It was like something out of a horror movie. But I wasn't scared. Remus was my friend, and, besides, if werewolves could infect other animals, then we would have a whole other set of problems. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <span class="u">- X -</span>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>"Last night was fun," Remus admitted to me during morning break the next day. </p><p>"Does that mean it's going to become a regular thing?" I asked hopefully. </p><p>Honestly, I had enjoyed it as well. It had been fun to forget about everything for a night. </p><p>"Where were you two last night?" Sirius demanded, inserting himself into our conversation like the pompous pureblood brat he was. </p><p>"None of your business," I snapped. </p><p>"No matter," James piped up, "I have yet to figure <em>you </em>out, but I think we've figured out Remus' <em>furry little problem</em>." </p><p>I didn't think it was possible for someone to choke on air, but Remus managed it. Even I went a few shades paler. </p><p>"You're a werewolf," James declared. </p><p>"Keep your voice down!" I hissed, eyeing Remus's petrified form. </p><p>"I basically whispered, Sallow," he said, sitting down on the bench next to me. </p><p>We were tucked away in a deserted corner of the courtyard, so there wasn't much risk of someone overhearing, but, as always, my mind loved to linger on the improbable. </p><p>"What... why would you think that?" Remus stammered. </p><p>"Oh, don't try to deny it," Sirius said, sitting down next to Remus. </p><p>"You always vanish on the night of the full moon and you get sick in the days around it," James pointed out, "Once again, I still don't know what Sallow's secret is - are you a werewolf too?" </p><p>"No," I said firmly. </p><p>Honestly, I wasn't even sure if I <em>could </em>become a werewolf, not that I in any way wanted to.</p><p>"Okay, I am a... you know," Remus admitted meekly, pulling into himself instinctively. </p><p>"And you told <em>her </em>before us?" Sirius exclaimed. </p><p>"That's... a long story," he said, glancing at me, "And it's not mine to tell." </p><p>"When will you tell us, Sallow?" Sirius asked. </p><p>"Never." </p><p>"I dunno, I'm pretty charming," he said, flashing me a grin. </p><p>"Is that what you think?" </p><p>"Wait, so, that's it?" Remus asked, looking extremely bewildered, "You confirm that I'm... <em>that </em>and then you just carry on like everything's normal?" </p><p>"Uh, yeah?" James said, "Why wouldn't we?" </p><p>"Because I'm a monster." </p><p>"No, you aren't," Sirius disputed, "I mean, you can be a stickler for the rules, which is more than a little annoying, but you're not a monster." </p><p>"But-"</p><p>"No, you aren't," I piped up, fixing him with a piercing look. </p><p>"For once, Sallow's right," James said, "Now, come on. I have some schemes to put into motion, and I'm certainly not doing it with a man down." </p><p>Peter - who had been eerily silent the whole time - almost tripped over himself in his eagerness to follow James and Sirius. Remus and I followed at a more leisurely pace.</p><p>"Do you know what this means?" Remus asked me once the others had pulled ahead. </p><p>"Our deal," I said. </p><p>"You have to tell your friends." </p><p>"You technically didn't tell your friends, though," I pointed out desperately. </p><p>"Freya." </p><p>"Fine," I sighed. </p><p>Based on the look on his face, I wasn't getting out of it. </p><p>"I saw them hanging around by the lake," Remus said, speeding up to catch up with the others. </p><p>"Wait, <em>now</em>?" </p><p>He didn't answer, but that in and of itself was an answer. I sighed again, before turning on my heels and marching down into the grounds. </p><p>My mind was strangely numb as I made my way to the lake. It wasn't even a month since school had started. I had told myself that I was going to wait longer. </p><p>Even if they knew the truth, what would change? Why would they want to have a friendship that was on a non-negotiable deadline? If I were them, I would cut all ties before I got too invested to avoid the inevitable emotional fallout. </p><p>They were where Remus had said they were, hanging around under one of the non-violent willow trees that overlooked the Black Lake. </p><p>Lizzie noticed me first. She stopped and stared as I approached, Lily and Severus catching on moments later. None of them spoke until I was right in front of them, and even then, it seemed like they were waiting for me to make the first move. </p><p>"I need to tell you something," I said quietly. </p><p>Severus glowered at me. I had probably made Lily upset, and he didn't like it when that happened. The girls were a little more understanding. </p><p>"What's wrong?" Lizzie asked, a silent question in her eyes. </p><p>
  <em>Is this related to what you told me that day in Diagon Alley?</em>
</p><p>I nodded ever-so-slightly, but I didn't say anything. I tried, several times, but I could never find the words. Eventually, I just dropped my bag to the ground. If I couldn't tell them, I could show them. </p><p>I glanced behind me and then moved so the tree hid me from everyone's view but theirs. They were all blatantly confused and looked about ready to voice said confusion when I started to change. </p><p>The looks on their faces as I shrunk and grew feathers and wings were so priceless that I almost wished I had done this sooner. </p><p>Almost. </p><p>After all, now the cat was out of the bag, and there was no putting it back in. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. {12} Marlene</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Freya gets detention and meets one Marlene McKinnon.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is the second chapter posted today, so you want to read chapter 11 first.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I prided myself on never getting caught. </p><p>Within the first six months of school, I settled into a steady rhythm with the self-proclaimed Marauders. They still didn't know my secret, even though they knew Remus', and to my thinly-veiled delight, Remus had stayed friends with me even though his own now knew the truth. </p><p>I was still stubbornly refusing to call the other Marauders friends, however, as indicated by the fact I would ditch them and make a quick escape if it looked like we were going to get caught planting Wailing Waterlilies in makeshift ponds in the hallways, or filling Filch's office with self-replicating marbles. </p><p>To their credit, they never seemed mad. They were more impressed about how I managed it, which I was something I was definitely <em>not </em>going to tell them. </p><p>Despite never being caught pulling pranks, the professors' perceptions of me were certainly changing. My grades were slipping, and my homework was consistently being turned in unfinished or rushed, or just not turned in at all. I was still excelling at the practical parts of class, however. </p><p>There was still a small part of my brain that worried about it though, and what other people thought of me, and sometimes that part took over at the most inconvenient of times, like when, I was helping the Marauders magically paint the school, and I started to spiral. </p><p>I could see Filch and his lantern coming closer, as well as Sirius and James sneaking into a closet, and Peter scrambling to get away, but I couldn't make myself move. It took until he was only a metre or so away and bearing down on me like a hyena that I managed to stow my wand away - a movement he didn't see - and stand up, moving several steps away from the now pink floor - which he did see, and was also pointless, as the whole floor was pink.</p><p>I flinched as Filch's grubby hand closed around my shoulder, a twisted grin on his face. </p><p>"Ha!" he practically shouted, "Thought you would get away, did you?" </p><p>I didn't respond, swallowing nervously instead. My eyes darted to the closet where Sirius and James were hiding. One of them had poked their head out, since it was behind Filch, but retreated inside when they saw me looking. </p><p>"Where are your co-conspirators, brat?" Filch sneered. </p><p>"I don't have any," I replied, tearing my eyes away from the closet and silently cursing my anxiety. </p><p>"Sure you don't," he scoffed. </p><p>"I'm telling the truth," I insisted. </p><p>"You're not," Filch growled. </p><p>"I am." </p><p>"Tell me where they are and maybe I'll lessen your sentence." </p><p>I had to admit, that was tempting. <em> Extremely </em>tempting. But if I ratted them out then I really would have no friends - not that they were my friends. </p><p>"You can't have done this on your own, girl," he snapped. </p><p><em> That </em>pissed me off. </p><p>"Well, I did. I'm a Ravenclaw, we tend to be good planners." </p><p>"<em> What </em>?" Filch said, sounding genuinely surprised. </p><p>He lifted his lantern so the light shone in my face. I narrowed my eyes and looked away so I wouldn't be blinded, but Filch still got a good look at my face and cackled with laugher. </p><p>"You're Sallow's little brat," he crowed, "Oh, this is goin' be good." </p><p>I cringed internally as he latched onto my arm and pulled me in the direction of his office. I caught a glimpse of the closet as we passed it. James had poked his head out, and I swear I saw him mouth 'thank you' at me before we disappeared around the corner. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <span class="u">- X -</span>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>I got a week of detention. </p><p>And, surprisingly, my popularity seemed to double overnight. It seemed that once Filch had taken me away, the others had taken it upon themselves to finish the job, and no one had managed to remove it as of yet. </p><p>In between dodging my sister and my father, I was dodging my new band of admirers. I was almost glad when five o'clock rolled around and I had to go to my first detention - ever, might I add - so I had a reasonable excuse not to be at dinner. </p><p>When I arrived in the designated classroom, there was already someone else there, lounging at a desk. They looked up when I came in, and I froze, just like I had the night before, except for a different reason.</p><p>She was probably the prettiest girl I had ever seen - and I had been friends with Lizzie and Lily. She had reddish-brown hair and hazel eyes and a confident half-smirk on her face. </p><p>I must have been staring because she raised an eyebrow at me and then laughed. I blushed, averting my gaze. </p><p>"I'm Marlene," she said once her laughter subsided, prompting me to glance back at her, "McKinnon." </p><p>"Uh... Freya Sallow." </p><p>"I know. You're kind of a mini-celebrity - even before your stunt last night. And can I say - top marks. 10 out of 10." </p><p>In a burst of confidence, I sighed dramatically. </p><p>"Only 10?" </p><p>Marlene laughed.</p><p>"And here I heard you were shy." </p><p>"I am." </p><p>"I think we have different definitions of 'shy'." </p><p>I smiled bashfully as I finally moved from the doorway to sit down at the desk across from Marlene. </p><p>"You're a Gryffindor," I noted, having spotted her red and gold tie. </p><p>"Yep, and you're a Ravenclaw. And a second-year, same as me." </p><p>"A second-year Gryffindor," I mused, "You wouldn't happen to know...?" </p><p>"Potter, Black, Pettigrew, and Lupin?" Marlene finished, "Who doesn't? They're great." </p><p>I hummed in agreement. Despite our differences and their affinity for trouble, I had to admit that they were quite fun to be around, and their loyalty to each other was admirable. </p><p>"I'm friends with Lily Evans too," she said carefully, "Not <em> good  </em>friends, mind you, but we're in the same house and the same year, so, you know." </p><p>I didn't really. I avoided most of the girls in my dorm, but I nodded anyway.</p><p>"You used to be close with her," Marlene prompted when it became apparent that I wasn't going to say anything. </p><p>"I did," I answered tersely, "Lizzie and Severus too." </p><p>"What happened?" </p><p>I thought back to the aftermath of me telling them the truth. They hadn't abandoned me like I thought they would, but that was somehow worse. I couldn't do that to them, knowing that it would just hurt them when I inevitably left. Better sooner rather than later, right? I had cut off all contact with them, and so what if I had regretted it every day since. </p><p>"Why do you want to know?" I asked. </p><p>Marlene shrugged. </p><p>"Lily was upset, and she's never upset." </p><p>"That's code for 'I'm nosy'," a new voice announced. </p><p>Marlene and I both glanced over to the door, where Sirius was standing proudly with a cocky grin on his face. </p><p>"Miss me?"</p><p>"Not even a little bit," I replied as James, Peter, and Remus popped up behind him. </p><p>"And to think we went to all this trouble so you wouldn't be alone in detention," James pouted. </p><p>"I didn't ask you to," I pointed out with a smile.</p><p>"I 'spose so," James conceded, "Seriously though, thanks for not ratting us out." </p><p>"Why would I?" </p><p>"'Cause we're not your friends," Sirius piped up, "Somehow." </p><p>"She's too high-born for us peasants," James joked. </p><p>"You're unbelievably rich and Sirius is a Black," I countered. </p><p>"And you're a Sallow," Remus pointed out quietly, settling at one of the nearby desks. </p><p>"I'm arguing that they're not peasants, even if they dress like them, not that I'm not high-born." </p><p>"Yowch," Sirius laughed.</p><p>James just looked offended, scowling at me as he tussled his hair. </p><p>"I don't dress like a peasant," he pouted. </p><p>"Not all the time - only when your parents don't dress you," Marlene piped up with a grin. </p><p>"Hey!" he exclaimed. </p><p>His next retort was silenced, however, by the arrival of Professor Flitwick, whose disapproving gaze lingered on me for longer than it did the others. </p><p>"Quiet down, please," he ordered in his squeaky voice, although none of us were talking, "Today you're going to be cleaning several of the classrooms - <em> without  </em>magic." </p><p>We all collectively groaned.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>If anyone's actually reading or following this story, which I doubt, I'm sorry for the delay. School got overwhelming and I guess the lack of support on this fic made me prioritise other ones over it.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. {13} Confrontation</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Freya's father finally confronts her about her mid-life crisis.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"I don't know what it is you're doing, but it needs to stop."</p><p>I froze midway through flipping the page of an astronomy book, glancing up to see my father looming over the back of my chair with a familiar frown on his face. </p><p>"I don't know what you're talking about," I said dismissively. </p><p>A year ago I wouldn't have dared to talk to him like that, but if he didn't respect me enough to tell me the truth, why should I respect him? </p><p>"Freya," he warned.</p><p>"What?" I snapped. </p><p>"This self-destructive act needs to stop." </p><p>"It's not a self-destructive act." </p><p>"It <em>is</em>," he said firmly. </p><p>"It's <em>not</em>," I insisted. </p><p>"It is, my dear," he said, his voice softening, "And it needs to stop before you pass the point of no return." </p><p>"Why? So I don't ruin your reputation?" I replied scathingly. </p><p>"So you don't ruin your life. Your grades are slipping. You're getting in trouble. You're getting in with a bad crowd. You're not even trying anymore."</p><p>"Why? Why bother trying if I'm never going to reap the rewards?"</p><p>"You will, Freya. Your mother almost made it thirty-"</p><p>"And did she achieve everything she wanted out of life?" I countered, "Was she at the place she wanted to be in her career? Did she have a family that she got to see grow and flourish?"</p><p>"Well..."</p><p>"Exactly. She was married for, what, two years? She had a one-year-old daughter who she never got to see grow up. I looked into her career as well, for the record. She was primed for a big promotion right before it happened. She got so close, only for it all to be ripped away. I. Don't. Want. That."</p><p>"Freya, it could all be ripped away at any moment despite that."</p><p>"'Could'. Exactly. For other people, it's a maybe, or a possibility. For me, it's a definite. I'm not going to make it to thirty, Dad. I'm not. Chances are, you'll see exactly what happened to Mum happen to me too."</p><p>"Darling..."</p><p>"No, you can't tell me that it's all going to be okay, Dad. I am twelve, now. If I follow the same path as her, I have about sixteen years of my life left. What am I supposed to do with that information? I'm in school, I can't do anything. Do you know what it's like to know when your life is going to end?"</p><p>"It's not like you're going to die."</p><p>"Except it is. You said it yourself."</p><p>"I didn't... I didn't mean it." </p><p>"You did, Dad. And even if you hadn't, it was implied, and it would have been the conclusion I came to anyway," I said shakily, "I have <em>sixteen </em>years left. Do you know what it's like to be told that at twelve?" </p><p>"I - no." </p><p>"Exactly." </p><p>"Freya, you can't just give up," he implored.</p><p>"I'm not, Dad. I'm trying to live while I still can."</p><p>He sighed heavily, dropping down into the seat opposite me. But before he could say anything, someone cleared their throat. My eyes widened and I twisted in my seat to see the librarian standing, arms crossed, at the edge of the aisle closest to us. She was staring at us - or rather, glaring. </p><p>"Why don't we take this to my office?" my father said awkwardly, standing up and brushing non-existent fluff off his pants. </p><p>For the first time in a while, I agreed with him. </p><p>
  <b>
    <span class="u">- X - </span>
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</p><p>Unfortunately, when we arrived at my father's office, someone was already waiting inside. </p><p>Victoria leapt up from her seat the moment the door opened and began talking before we were even in the room.</p><p>"I'm sorry to bother you, Dad, but I think something's wrong with - Freya!"</p><p>"Yep," I muttered, knowing full well that my name was already going to be the end of that sentence. </p><p>"Uh," her eyes flickered between our father and me, "You're... in the same room as each other... willingly?" </p><p>"Your sister and I need to talk, Victoria," our father said brusquely, "Can this wait until later?"</p><p>"Oh." Her face visibly fell, but she nodded anyway. </p><p>She made a move towards the door as our father settled into his chair and I into one of the chairs on the other side of his desk. </p><p>She stopped when she reached the door, however, and turned to us with a determined look on her face. </p><p>"Actually, no," she said, her voice conveying none of the uncertainty I'm sure she felt, "You've been keeping something from me for months, and I've felt the effects of it too, even if I don't know what it is. And I think I deserve to know what's going on." </p><p>"Victoria," our father said warningly, beginning to rise from his chair. </p><p>"It's all right," I burst out, my first instinct being to protect my sister, even if I did somewhat enjoy the thrill of knowing something she didn't, "She can stay." </p><p>My father gave me a curious look, but complied, gesturing for Victoria to take the empty seat. </p><p>Her and I both breathed almost imperceptible sighs of relief. Our father would never physically hurt us and never really raised his voice, but he didn't need to. His scoldings were just as terrifying without. </p><p>"So... what is it?" my sister asked, looking between the two of us. </p><p>"I'm a maledictus," I said before my father could say anything. </p><p>It felt like <em>I </em>should be the one to tell her. </p><p>"You have a blood curse?" Victoria exclaimed, horrified. </p><p>I nodded. </p><p>"But... no. You can't." </p><p>"I do." </p><p>"No," she insisted. </p><p>I rose from my seat hesitantly, watching the look of horror and disgust pass over her face as I began to shift, my bones breaking and reforming, my body twisting. After a year, I didn't feel it anymore, but I knew how it looked to other people. </p><p>"Oh god," Victoria breathed, squeezing her eyes shut, "That's not... but that means that you're going to..." </p><p>I shifted back, flexing my shoulders to make sure the bones were in the right place - I had had some problems with them getting dislocated in the past - and frowned. </p><p>"You know what happens?" I inquired, glancing at our father. </p><p>"Yes. It's taught briefly in Year 3 alongside Animagi, and then again in Year 5 for the O.W.L.s." </p><p>"Huh." </p><p>"But... you're really going to... stay that way?" </p><p>"That's what happened to my mother," I answered, sitting back down. </p><p>"Your - oh, what! Aquila the falcon <em>is </em>your mother. Oh, that's... jeez." </p><p>"Basically," I muttered. </p><p>"How long do you... you know?"</p><p>"Have left?" I finished, "My mother made it to 28. So, 16 years." </p><p>"I'm sorry," she breathed. </p><p>"It's not your fault," I replied automatically. </p><p>"No, but, I don't know what else to say," she admitted, looking towards our father, "What does this have to do with your falling out?" </p><p>"He didn't tell me. About any of it." </p><p>"Dad?" Victoria questioned. </p><p>He sighed. </p><p>"No, I didn't. It was too much for her to deal with at such a young age." </p><p>"You have a point," Victoria conceded, "But it's Freya's life. Why should you be the one making the decisions?" </p><p>"I'm her father."</p><p>"Doesn't mean you know best," she countered, her eyes widening in shock a moment later, "Sorry." </p><p>My father mostly ignored her last comment, probably much to her relief. </p><p>"It's her reason for her spiral into madness as well." </p><p>"It's not madness, Dad," I said, gritting my teeth. </p><p>"You're giving up," he replied fiercely, "Sallows don't give up. We think, we plan, we fight." </p><p>"There's nothing to do," I pointed out, my voice rising, "There's no cure and there's no other way to fight something that's in my blood - something that's as much a part of me as my magic." </p><p>"Yet." </p><p>"What?" I frowned, sitting up straighter. </p><p>"There's no cure <em>yet</em>." </p><p>"What do you mean?" I repeated, not allowing myself to hope. </p><p>"There's someone willing to help you look for a cure, if you want it." </p><p>"Of course I want it." </p><p>"I thought you'd already given up," he said pompously. </p><p>"Because I thought there wasn't a chance of any other outcome. You've just given me one." </p><p>My father smiled smugly to himself. </p><p>"Who is it?" I asked impatiently, "Who wants to help?" </p><p>It had to be a well-known wizard, didn't it? Someone powerful and famous, or else my father would have dismissed it as a scam. Unless he really was that desperate to stop my so-called 'downward spiral'.</p><p>Maybe that was it. </p><p>I felt my heart start to sink as my anxiety took a hold of me, but my father's next words stopped it in its tracks. </p><p>"Albus Dumbledore."</p>
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<a name="section0014"><h2>14. {14} Hope</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Freya talks to Professor Dumbledore. </p><p>It's not my best work, but I wanted to write something. This has been sitting half-finished in my drafts for months.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I wasn't sure how long I was stood outside the door before the statue started to talk, but it must have been a while because it sounded annoyed. </p><p>"Are you going to move or what?" it snapped. </p><p>I jumped, my eyes wide and full of alarm in a way very reminiscent of my eleven-year-old self. </p><p>"I... I am," I replied, wringing my hands together. </p><p>I could've sworn the statue rolled its eyes. </p><p>"Hurry up then," it grumbled. </p><p>"Right." </p><p>I still didn't move. I couldn't. </p><p>No matter how much I willed myself to, I couldn't make my legs move. And the walls felt like they were closing in on me, which was stupid because I was standing in one of Hogwarts' massive hallways. </p><p>I let out a shaky breath, my hands clenching into fists. My nails were digging into the palms of my hands, maybe even hard enough to draw blood, but I didn't care. It kept me from crying. Or gave me an excuse for it. </p><p>"Hey, kid, don't cry," the statue said. </p><p>It sounded kind of panicky. Faintly, I wondered if it would get in trouble for making a student upset. Well, it's not like it could get fired or anything. Moved, maybe? But it was part of the castle. </p><p>I sighed internally. I was putting far too much thought into this. </p><p>"I'm not going to cry," I said aloud. </p><p>To be honest, even <em>I </em>didn't believe it when I said it. </p><p>"Look, I'll let you in, just don't do <em>that</em>," the statue told me. </p><p>"I said-"</p><p>"I know what you said," the statue interrupted as it began to move. </p><p>There came the tell-tale grinding sound of stone grating against stone as it twisted, revealing a spiral staircase. Now there was one less obstacle between me and the chance of a real future.</p><p> Why couldn't I take that first step?</p><p>No matter how it turned out, it couldn't get worse than it already was, right? But I didn't know that for sure. I had combed through every book I could find in the school library about blood curses - there hadn't been many - and they never mentioned anything about a possible cure, but at the same time, they also never ruled it out, and they never said that trying would make it worse. </p><p>But there was a lot they didn't mention. Like just how much it had hurt when my transformations first began, and how sometimes when I was transformed it felt like I was fighting another side of myself - the Falcon side - to stay in control. </p><p>It was because the books were written by onlookers, years after the fact, rather than the victims themselves. Because by that point, almost all of them were gone. </p><p>Would I be a book someday too? Would someone in my life write about me once I was gone, maybe in less than twenty years? The thought panicked me like I wasn't <em>already </em>panicked enough. </p><p>Then a voice that sounded remarkably like a mix of James and Sirius echoed in my head. <em>Don't worry about it now</em>, it told me, <em>talk to him first, and then celebrate because it's going to be good news. </em></p><p>I didn't really believe the voice, but it was enough for me to take the first step. And then another, and another, until I was marching up the stairs to the Headmaster's office with a confidence I didn't truly feel. </p><p>Soon the dark oak door was looming in front of me, and I felt small again. </p><p>Luckily, the door swung open without me having to touch it. Beyond it, I could see the orange flames of a fire in the grand fireplace that dominated one side of the office and a little bit beyond that, I could see Professor Dumbledore sitting at his desk, a fiery bird - a Phoenix, I realised with a start - perched beside him. </p><p>He was reading something in front of him. It didn't look as though he was aware that I was there, let alone been the one to open the door.</p><p>"You can come in, Freya," he said warmly, glancing up with a friendly twinkle in his eyes, "That's generally what an open door implies." </p><p>So, I couldn't have been more wrong. </p><p>That didn't <em>exactly</em> help my anxiety levels. </p><p>Nevertheless, I stepped into the office, closing the door behind me. It was lighter than it looked, which was a relief. The last thing I wanted right now was to further embarrass myself by failing to close a door. </p><p>"I don't mean to bother you, Professor," I began, "but my father said you... well..." </p><p>"I know why you're here, Freya," he said, "I'm not going to make you say it aloud." </p><p>"Okay," I said, breathing a sigh of relief. </p><p>"Sit, please," he encouraged, setting aside whatever he had been reading. </p><p>I scurried across the room to claim the left-most chair. I kept my eyes on the ground the whole time, even once I sat down. I didn't want to see the look on Professor Dumbledore's face, be it pity or sadness or anything else. </p><p>"What exactly has your father told you, so I may know where to start?" he inquired softly. </p><p>"Uh - not much," I stammered, biting my own lip to stop myself from saying anything further until my voice stopped trembling. </p><p>I expected him to ask what 'not much' meant, but he seemed to realise that I didn't really feel like talking, and it would be better to simply tell me everything, even if it meant he was repeating something I'd already heard - or, if he said what I was certain he was going to say, something I'd already read a hundred times.</p><p>That there was no cure. </p><p>"Blood curses have been a topic of interest for me for many years now," he began, "Maledictuses in particular. I have read every book that exists on them - which, I'll admit, isn't very many - and I've spoken to every scholar. There aren't very many of those either. They also don't tend to agree on many things. Each have their own theories on how such curses came to be, how they're placed on people, by who and for what reasons, and why we don't seem to see new ones cropping up, but rather new sufferers from old bloodlines. However, there is one thing that they do agree on." </p><p>My breath caught in my throat. I knew what was coming. </p><p>"And that is that there is no cure." </p><p>I had expected myself to be more dismayed by that fact being stated so plainly, but I was just numb. I had so long been resigned to the fact that my life would be <em>this</em> - that it would end before it even really begun - that not even the glimmer of hope my father had offered me had done anything to change it. </p><p>"I-" I began, a surge of confidence overcoming me as I remembered that I no longer had any reason to be polite. </p><p>But the Headmaster interrupted me before I could get another word out. </p><p>"And I believe they're wrong." </p><p>I think I must've momentarily stopped breathing entirely because after what felt like at least a minute of silence, save for the crackling of flames in the fireplace and the rustling feathers of the Phoenix, I began to feel faint. I forced myself to take a deep, shuddering breath, and my head began to clear. </p><p>"Are you all right, Freya?" Professor Dumbledore asked, concern clear in his blue eyes. </p><p>"I-"</p><p>How could I answer that? I didn't know how I felt, but 'all right' didn't feel like it fit. Not yet, at least. Maybe one day it would. But for now... </p><p>"I'm better than I was yesterday," I answered. </p><p>"I'm happy to hear that," he said, smiling. </p><p>"I... I have to ask. What makes you think that there is a cure?" </p><p>"How much time do you have?" </p><p>"I have nothing better to do," I replied immediately. </p><p>He chuckled, shaking his head. </p><p>"I know for a fact you have homework, some of which is already overdue." </p><p>"Oh," I muttered. </p><p>"I expect that to change now. Along with the mischief your friends and you have been getting up to," he told me. </p><p>"Mischief?" I asked boldly. </p><p>"I'm not blind, Freya," he said, before adding with a chuckle, "Although, I won't say I didn't appreciate you painting the castle rainbow. It was clever."</p><p>"Thanks," I murmured bashfully.</p><p>"But jokes aside..." </p><p>"My homework will be done by Monday," I said, "I promise." </p><p>"Good," he said, "Can't have you falling behind because of a-"</p><p>"Mid-life crisis?" </p><p>"Let's call it existential," he decided, "If I'm right - which, not to be boastful, I usually am - then this won't be the middle of your life. It'll be only the beginning. And as for your original question, it comes down to rather basic magical theory. Simply put, in magic, nothing is irreversible except death. And while, in a lot of ways, as I've heard that you've aptly pointed out, this is a kind of death, it doesn't share the permanence. Blood curses are a very obscure subject. Not much is known about them, and much of what is known comes from second-hand sources, which have always said that they're irreversible, but as far as I can tell, no one's ever bothered to find out if that's true, even though magical theory says it's not." </p><p>"But this is all just a theory too, right?" I checked, my heart sinking slightly, "You have nothing to back it up." </p><p>"Not nothing," he corrected, "Not much, but it's enough to give me hope. One day soon I'll show it to you." </p><p>"You will?" I asked, surprised. </p><p>"Of course. After all, you're going to be my - how do you say - ah, <em>partner in crime </em>in this endeavour." </p><p>"I am?" </p><p>"You are the expert," he said like it was obvious. </p><p>"I suppose I am," I said slowly. </p><p>"Now, you have class tomorrow and as your Headmaster, I expect you to be on time." </p><p>"That's my cue to go, right?" I queried. </p><p>"It is," he assured me. </p><p>"I'll be off, then," I said, standing up, "Uh... thank you." </p><p>"For what?" he asked, seeming genuinely baffled. </p><p>"For... giving me hope. Even if it's just a little." </p><p>"It's amazing what a little hope can do," he said, with the wistful look of an old man. </p><p>It was the first time that I had realised how old he really was, with his usual eccentric and bright demeanour gone, and the expression on his face one that belonged to someone looking back on their life and realising all that had gone wrong because of them. </p><p>Part of me wanted to offer <em>some </em>sort of comfort, but I didn't know what to say, so I just turned away. </p><p>I made it to the door before he spoke again. </p><p>"Freya?" he said, in a voice barely above a whisper that somehow managed to carry all the way across the room. </p><p>"Yes, Professor," I replied, turning to look back at him. </p><p>I expected him to say something grand or poetic, but he simply smiled regretfully and said: </p><p>"Don't forget to tell your friends."</p>
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